Husband having trouble ‘getting it up’

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you, but I read your column every day. I appreciate your writing.

I have a husband and he has been having problems. I would say that he is half-impotent. I have been encouraging him to go to the doctor, but he has been listening to some of his friends who told him that he should take bush medicine. Sometimes these medicines seem to work, but most times they do not work.

My husband is only 55 years old and I am 50. We have been married for 10 years, but we were friends for much longer than that. He used to work on a truck, so he says that he strained his back by lifting heavy loads. But I doubt that what he is saying is true. Because my husband is having this problem, he does not want me out of his sight because he believes that I will be tempted to go with other men. Sometimes when he cannot get his 'third leg' up, he asks me whether I would go to another man. I do not have that intention.

I remember the days when my husband was very strong in bed. He used to fully satisfy me. So I am still hoping that he would be able to do so again. Why do you think that my husband is having erectile problems and he is only 55 years old?

M.J.

Dear M.J.,

First of all, I hope that your husband will come to realise that he needs to see a doctor for help.

I am not saying that he is wrong to listen to his friends, but it would be safer for him to see professionals. Impotence can be caused by numerous reasons and it is not restricted to old men. But the condition gets worse when men fret about it, like your husband is doing at this time. He ought to be concerned, but he should not fret. He needs to be checked out by a medical doctor. Is your husband diabetic? If he is and is on medication, those drugs can affect his love life and cause him to suffer impotence.

Some women need to understand that if their men are working very hard and not gaining enough rest, they can become fatigued, and that may cause impotence. Some men drink too much and have become alcoholics, and that can also affect their love life. This is a very serious condition. Wise men should limit their alcohol intake. There are many, many drugs that can affect a man and cause him to limp around in bed (if you know what I mean).

Many people who take illegal drugs are impotent. Heavy ganja users are impotent. Please tell your husband that delay is dangerous. He may be putting forward a good face, but at the same time he might be suffering from depression. Men who are suffering from depression are likely to be impotent. The impact of stress is also very bad for a man; it can cause impotence for a period of time.

Impress upon your husband to see a doctor as soon as possible.

Pastor