I can’t get away from this jealous married man

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 years old. I have a big problem dealing with. For the past three years I was having a relationship with a married man. This man did everything for me, including helping me to get a job. He paid all my rent and he bought me a lovely car. I had many men who approached me, but I turned them down. This man's wife knows me very well, but she doesn't know the type of relationship I am having with her husband.

Sometimes when I get my pay, I didn't have to spend much. However, I am now facing a problem. I went for vacation in New York and my brother introduced me to a man, and I fell in love with him.

When I went out with him for the first time, I was very nervous. I spent two weeks in the United States of America (USA) and this guy took me everywhere. One day my Jamaican boyfriend called me when the guy was with me. He heard a male voice and he asked me if I was with someone, and I told him yes. He called me back and I explained to him that it was my brother's friend. I told my brother about my problem and he told me I should not return to Jamaica, I should stay. But I told him no, I will return to Jamaica.

When I came back, I told my boyfriend the truth. I told him that I was tired of the life I was living and this guy I met is a Christian. He said he was going to break up the relationship. This married man got me pregnant three times and I aborted the three pregnancies. He said that he will tell everybody that I am a 'walking cemetery', so I better know what I am doing. I look back and I regret terminating three pregnancies. I told my brother what I did and my brother said that I should not be worried about this man's threats.

Since I am back I am living with a girlfriend, but I still have my own apartment. I don't want to stay at my place because he comes anytime he feels. I told my friend in the USA that there is this man who loves me in Jamaica. However, I did not tell him that he is married, or that he had got me pregnant and I terminated the three pregnancies.

I had to tell my brother who said he would deal with the guy in the USA. I am so worried; I have taken off weight. I don't want to just leave everything I have, but everything I have were bought by this man.

I have a sister who is living with a man and she is struggling. I am hoping she could get my stove and all the things I have, but I don't know if this man is going to carry out his threats and tell the guy about the type of relationship we have had and take away everything. I would have to leave Jamaica, as my brother suggested, if I am not with this man. He used to call me a princess, now he is calling me a whore. I am really worried. I am willing to give up the car he bought for me because it is not in my name. I have never wasted my money, so I have over $2 million in the bank.

Two weeks ago, this man came to the apartment; he has keys. He came in and forced himself on me. When I told him that he should have some more respect for me, he said he cannot respect a whore. I don't know what to do. My brother told me that I should give my employers notice and book my passage and just leave and he would do the rest for me. I don't plan to tell anybody that I am leaving; not even my mother. The married man I am with is 53 years old and very influential. Please give me your advice.

D.T

Dear D.T.,

I am sorry to hear that you are very confused. I could understand that when you got into the relationship with this married man, you did so because you were in need of his help. However, when you became pregnant the first time, you should not have terminated the pregnancy. In addition, you were not careful; you got pregnant again and again. You should have known better. Any woman who engages in unprotected sex is likely to become pregnant. I have said that in my column numerous times. You are old enough to know how to protect yourself.

This married man, you say, is influential. You did not say whether he insisted that you should have the abortions, but I am assuming he did. You would always remember what you did as you grow older, but I trust that this Christian man who loves you will forgive you. God is able to forgive you for what you have done. The Bible says that love covers the multitude of sin.

This married man is wicked. He does not care about you. He should be willing to release you and set you free. I hope your brother will not tell others in the family what you have done; and I hope that he will do his best to protect and assist you if you were to go to the USA.

But, may I suggest that you inform your landlord that you are leaving the apartment and you have someone to take your belongings out of the property. Do not say where you are going, so that this man will not embarrass you. Give up your job and the house. You may have to tell the landlord that the relationship between you and this man has come to an end, but that he has a set of keys to the apartment, so he should change the locks.

Pastor