Husband furious that I want a vibrator

Dear Pastor,

I am married and I have one son. I have a good job. My son is one year old.

My husband and I have a very good relationship, but he is doing postgrad work and most of his time is taken up in doing projects. It is so hard on me. Sometimes when I am in bed and I feel for him, I go to him and disturb his studies. He told me I should learn to control myself. But I am controlling myself. I told my husband to buy me a vibrator, and he asked me what I would do with it. He said he is the only man in the house, and he was surprised that I would put a vibrator in my bed to take his place or to give him competition.

I know married women who have vibrators because their husbands are unable to satisfy their sexual needs. I will never go to another man, but I feel so guilty when I disturb my husband. If I had a vibrator, I would call on it and it would not complain. My husband's argument is that both of us are Christians, and Christians should not entertain such thoughts of purchasing vibrators. He thinks my thoughts are too wild and I should suffer in silence whenever I have sexual needs. I hope you will be straightforward in your answer, and that you will answer me very soon.

E.M.

Dear E.M.,

I wish your husband success in his studies. In today's world, it is important to do postgrad work.

Having a master's degree may put you in a position to earn more money. He has to learn how to balance his time as a married man. You have to be reasonable also. Perhaps both of you should decide to spend more time together on weekends. But even so, he might be called upon to do group work on weekends. It is going to be tough.

Your request from him for a vibrator was shocking. But I have known men who have bought vibrators for their women because the men were going to be away and they wanted their women to be faithful. Some single women who are Christians use vibrators. A single woman called the Dear Pastor Show and told all of us that she has one, and she uses it whenever she feels for sex. She said it has never cheated on her. She added that she doesn't care what people may say about her. After using it, she said she cleans it and puts it way until it is needed again.

It is not for me to endorse the use of it or to condemn those who use it. The truth is, it is not my business.

Pastor