Siblings worried mom may be marrying a killer

Dear Pastor,

I need your advice on a matter that is affecting our family. My mother has seven children for different men.

She struggled to raise us. Some of us have done well, others have not. I have two brothers who are in prison and they are for different fathers. My mother used to work for a wealthy man. He was married twice, but both wives died. He called my mother and when she went to see him, he told her that he had a vision that he should marry her. She was very surprised. He told her that she would get part of his property, so she would not lose out on anything. The lady who used to be his helper also died. So my mother has been helping this man. Some of my siblings told our mother that she doesn't have to work again, so why is she at this man's place?

My mother does not own a house. She is living at her father's house. When we were young, we moved from place to place; that is one reason why she ended up with so many children. It seems to us that our mother loves this man. She told us that she is not there now as the helper; she is there now with this man as his woman, and she has even put on weight.

This man is in good shape, according to her. He likes vegetables. He eats a piece of chicken occasionally, but he loves fish. My mother used to always depend on us for money; now she doesn't have to ask us for anything. I went to see my mother recently and I wanted to find out if she had money. So I asked her for a loan of $5,000 and she did not hesitate to give me it to me. She said that I did not have to pay her back.

This man has three children, all boys, with his second wife but did not have any children with his first wife. These children are living abroad. He said that they are not interested in coming back to live in Jamaica. They wanted him to sell everything and go and live with them, but he is not interested in doing so. But one of the houses will go to my mother and he will leave the other house for them. They can sell it or do whatever they want with it after he has died. This man is still very strong.

One of my sisters told my mother that she would be afraid to marry this man, questioning how is it that his two wives and helper all died? She is wondering whether this man had something to do with their deaths. My mother was very upset with my sister for saying that. But I don't want to tell my mother not to marry this man, because he has everything a woman would want. I don't know what you have to say on this matter.

M.

Dear M.,

Your siblings should leave your mother alone. She is a grown woman and she is quite able to make her own decisions.

Your letter reminds me of a situation that I know about. There was a certain gentleman who was an elder at a church. He was a married man. Unfortunately, his wife died and after a period of time, he married again and was getting along well with his second wife. Then she became ill and died. So here he was, single again, and some of the so-called Christian ladies in the church told a woman he was courting that they wouldn't marry him because he is a killer. They wondered how come two of his wives died, and wanted to know if she wasn't afraid to accept the marriage proposal. These women died from natural causes, because the man who has now proposed to your mother knows that he did not cause their deaths. Your mother now has a grand opportunity to marry him and own a home of her own.

You children should be happy for your mother and should wish her well. She will not have to be begging any of you for bread. Tell your siblings that I say that they are out of order to be standing in their mother's way. If you are invited to the wedding, give her the support that she needs and stop chatting behind her back.

Pastor