Stepbrother tried to sleep with me

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 and my boyfriend will soon be 19. I am dying to leave my parents. I am living with my father and stepmother, but she does not like me.

She always tells lies on me. She complains about everything I do. She is older than my father. She has a son who was living with us and my father chased him away because one night while I was in bed, he came into my room and was trying to force me to have sex with him. I told him he was crazy, and he said nobody was around. He would not leave, so I went into the kitchen and took up a knife and told him that if he approached me again, I was going to stab him; that is what caused him to back off.

When my father and stepmother came home, I told them what happened, but he denied everything. My stepmother said that she did not believe me because her son is not that type of man and he has a girlfriend. From that night, my stepmother has hated me. I told her that I should have stabbed him and she would have believed me. My father told me that he believed me. He put a deadbolt on my door. He said that he only hoped that I would not get sick in there, but before I go to bed at nights, I should lock the door with the deadbolt, and that is what I have been doing.

One day, my stepmother's son told me that if he had raped me he would have felt better. So I told my father what he said and my father told him to leave. He did not leave that day and when my father got home from work the following day and saw him, my father demanded that he pack up everything and leave. His mother asked where he was going to go, but my father said that is not his business. He cannot have him in the house and threatening me.

One day my father and stepmother had a fuss over me and she told my father that the way he is protecting me, it is like he wants me for himself. My father became very angry and threatened to knock her down. She apologised, but my father did not accept her apology. He told her that she would have to find somewhere else to live. She doesn't have anywhere to go. She is a higgler, and I found out that she cannot read very well.

My father has never touched me in any way that is inappropriate. I have been living with him from my mother went away when I was younger than three years old. My aunt came to live at the house and she took care of me until I was five. She found a man and went to live with him in the country. My father fell in love with another woman and she came to live with us. But the relationship didn't last long. My father accused her of stealing his money. If this new woman doesn't leave, I am going to find a place to go because we do not like each other.

Z.A.

Dear Z.A.,

I am glad that your father and you have a very good relationship. You are his daughter and he is quite correct in defending you. In fact, he should have thrown that young man out of his house when you complained. No wise father would trust a young man like him in his house around his daughter. Your stepmother should have cautioned her son and let him know that you had the right to say no to his sexual advances. Instead, she declared that she did not believe that he approached you for sex. By her comment she encouraged him to try again.

Although you are unhappy right now with your stepmother, and you have the desire to leave home, perish that thought; your father is there to protect you. You know you have to cope with a lying stepmother, but your father knows that she does not love you. So it is likely that she would say bad things about you. Your stepmother has a filthy mouth; she is not wise. Only a foolish woman would accuse her daughter's father of wanting to have sex with her, despite no evidence to support that accusation. Perhaps it is time for your father to demand that she find another place to live. However, he should go to see an attorney, who would advise you on the proper way.

Young girl, continue to protect yourself.

Pastor