Think that my husband might be cheating

Dear Pastor,

Please for your advice. I am 40 years old and I have been married for 10 years. I have two children with my husband and he has been very good to me.

I have not been well, but my husband is with me all the way. I know my illness has caused a great strain on him, but he does not complain. I have learned what true love is about. Sometimes when I am doing things around the house, he stops me and tells me to go and rest. I wonder sometimes if my husband is cheating on me. How can he do without making love with me for months? I asked him about it and he said that I should be ashamed of myself. I see girls around him whenever I go to church and I feel very jealous.

I have lost one of my breasts and I asked my husband how he feels about me having only one. He said I look just as beautiful with one. I am not sure my husband is speaking the truth. We have a helper and I had to beg her not to wear certain clothes to work because I do not want my husband to be tempted to go with her. She is a lovely young lady with a beautiful figure. After talking to her, she asked my husband if he was attracted to her and he told her no. She told him that I told her not to wear certain garments to come to work. My husband was very upset with me and I felt ashamed. I should not have told the girl what to wear to work because I was afraid that my husband would be tempted to have an affair with her. This girl gave us notice that she would leave the job and I had to beg her to stay.

My husband has forgiven me for being so jealous and he is paying extra attention to me. Our helper has decided to stay; we had a family discussion and I had to apologise to her. I feel guilty for putting my husband under this type of stress.

C.D.

Dear C.D.,

I will never understand how a woman feels after she has had surgery and removed her breast.

Some women have removed both breasts simultaneously. A friend of mine told me while I was visiting with his family in America that his wife found out that she had breast cancer and the doctor suggested surgery. He said, 'Aaron, my wife has the most beautiful pair of breasts' and they could not decide if she should remove the breast or not. Finally, she did, but I believe it was too late. She did not survive. I also remember a dear young lady called me on the phone and she said 'Pastor, I am in the hospital. I am going to have an operation because I discovered that I have a lump in my breast'. She called me after the operation to tell me that the doctor removed the breast. To cut a long story short, a few weeks later, this girl died. She was a newlywed. Her husband was greatly depressed.

You are fortunate to have a husband who is very loving and caring, and who is concerned about you. Do not frustrate him; have confidence in him. He has not been harassing you at all because he wants you to recuperate fully. That does not mean that he has another woman or that he is seeing other women. You have a good helper and you may lose her if you continue to give her the impression that you don't trust her around your husband. Take good care of yourself and let me know of your progress.

Pastor