Mother-in-law thinks I gave her son a ‘jacket’

Dear Pastor,

I am 29 years old and I have a boyfriend who is 27. We were living in one of the islands, so I never met his parents at first.

I only saw pictures of them. I am of a dark complexion and he is of a light complexion. I have a child for him and the child has taken on my complexion. Pastor, his mother is crazy. When we eventually met her, right in front of me, she told her son "This is not your child and his colour shows it; this is a jacket." I had to walk away to prevent myself from telling her some Jamaican words. When my boyfriend saw that I was angry, he told me not to say a word. His father was very wise. His father told his mother, why you don't keep your [foul language] mouth shut.

My boyfriend and I get along so very well and we are planning to get married, but this woman is not invited. I will not have her at our wedding, neither would she be welcomed at our house to visit. Nobody has ever insulted me like that. I have never gone with another man. Since his mother told me that my child is a jacket, I asked my man if he would love for us to do a DNA test, and he said that he does not have money to waste. His father has apologised to me many times for what his wife said, and I told him his apology is accepted. You see, these people are well known and they have some money, so they feel that they can say anything that they want.

Thank you, Pastor, for your column. And thank you for reading my letter.

M.L.

Dear M.L.,

I am glad that you were able to control yourself.

When that foolish woman told you that your son does not look like his father, I am glad that you did not tell her some Jamaican words that are not in the dictionary, because years to come, you might have regretted what you said. Although she is an idiot, your man wouldn't want you to verbally abuse his mother. He has chosen you to be his woman and you have accepted him. Clearly you are an intelligent woman. You asked him whether he wants to do a DNA test and he told you no there is no need for that. He loves you and he loves his child.

Now, I disagree with you in one area and I will tell you what it is. You say that you are not going to invite her to your wedding. I am saying to you now, please, invite her. Let her come and eat your cake and your food. Every time you look at her, smile. She would have a difficult time dealing with herself. But I would not be surprised that if you were to send her an invitation, she might not come, and that is how I see it.

Be a good Jamaican; be proud of yourself.

Pastor