Men should spend time with their women

Jamaica is a great little island with very vibrant and dynamic people. The Jamaican society is very complex, and at a glance, there seems to be a contradiction in the practices and norms with how the people relate.

I specifically want to address a trend that I have personally observed with our Jamaican men. Now, when it comes to sexuality, the typical Jamaican man professes his love and admiration for women.

He is very respectful of the mother, from his mother to the babymother, the average Jamaican man will not stand for any abuse of the mother.

On the flip side, he seems to be unable to remain faithful to one woman, to the point where he expects all the women in his life to understand that 'man a man'.

This statement is designed to justify that a man should not be expected to be faithful to just one woman. Nuff Gal, Man A Gyalis and Trailer Load are a few of the many songs in dancehall that confirm why Jamaican men cannot be expected to have only one woman.

This takes me to the contradicting part. In the face of all the admiration the Jamaican man has for women, and the fact he can even be faithful to just one, he still spends most of his leisure time with his male friends.

He goes to most events with his male friends, whether or not his woman is there (which she isn't most if the time). He plays sports, go on weekend trips, goes to parties, and do almost everything he enjoys with his male friends.

It doesn't stop there, at the party, he hangs out with his 'bredren', shares his spliff with him, even dances with him. Meanwhile, his woman is hanging with the other women present or she's at home. Even when a slow song plays in the party - instead of finding his woman or asking one to dance - he just dances slowly with his bredren.

Now a lot of men will see my observation and immediately dismiss it and call me names, but before you do that, answer this question, Who did you go to your last party with? Who was with you the last time you went to the beach? Who are you sharing this article with right now? Look at the photos in your phone, who's on most of them with you?

I have male friends, who are married, that I have known for years. They are very social, they go to almost all the parties, and I have never seen them out with their wives.

I asked one friend, when was the last time he took out his wife, and he told me they went to a funeral the week before.

I know that this profile does not apply to all Jamaican men, but if we are honest we can identify at least one that fits. I-Octane has a song that says, "Mi nah spend no time wid mi gal and mi gal a gi mi bun".

I've always thought that if these men spend the kind of time with their women that they spend with their bredrens, they may have happier relationships.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or Tweet me @drsexyann or Facebook www.facebook.com/allaboutthesexy Website: www.drsexyann.com

Question

Dear Dr Sexy-Ann,

I love to masturbate. Every time I do it, I have an orgasm. However, when I have sex with my man, I don't enjoy it as much as I enjoy masturbating. What can I do? I like him, but I don't enjoy sex with him.

Shelly, Molynes Road

Dear Shelly,

It is normal that you enjoy masturbation because you know your body and you know what you like.

Try masturbating in front of your partner. Let him see how you touch yourself and what you enjoy.

That way he can follow exactly what you did. Also, ask for what you want. Give him instructions, so he can learn how to please you as well.

Be patient and have fun with it. Good luck!

Dr Sexy-Ann