Who wants a 'bad man' anyway?

For as long as I can remember the "bad man" has been the standard that describes the ultimate alpha male. Specifically in dancehall, the 'bad man' is who every man wanted to be and who every woman wanted to be with.

The 'bad man' received the highest respects from his male counterparts and the women swoon over his prowess and in some cases fight for his attention even if they eventually have to share it.

So what's the attraction? The bad man is usually very charismatic, he has confidence and that's always attractive. He also brings an element of danger which many women find intriguing, and he also arouses an element of fear among his peers. Whether he has committed a crime or not is not, his persona carries that aura which indicates that he is not to be messed with.

The era of the semester to have passed and now it asks who wants to date a "bad man" anyway? Is the "bad man" even still relevant? Based on how he's described in song lyrics I find it hard to believe that any sensible woman would really want to date a bad man.

1. Bad man don't like to clean up after themselves

"You must be dreaming how gal fi have bad man a do house cleaning" - Mavado. Personally I am not living with no man that don't clean house.

2. Bad man have nuff gyal and gyal inna bungle

Most bad man wants to have multiple women and this is an issue for the women they are with. Especially since they forbid these women from having any other men with them.

3. Bad man don't bow

This is a sore point for most women because they absolutely enjoy cunniligus but these men refuse to participate. I mean, how could you say you love women but you refuse to give her exactly what she wants sexually? To add insult to injury, they profess how much they enjoy receiving oral attention from female partners, but no reciprocity is given.

I could also add that he doesn't seem to be very concerned with her pleasure during sex, more about proving his "manhood". "Cock it up, jack it up, dig out di red" - Spragga Benz. Personally I don't see the appeal but some women still love the "bad man" so, I guess that answers my question about his relevance.

Still it seems that the nerd image has taken over and the "smart man" is more popular than the bad man. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that many bad men end up incarcerated or dead.

Question

Dear Dr Sexy-Ann

I don't stay wet for long during sex. We always use a condom and after I feel very sore. Is there anything I can use to feel better?

Annette, Duhaney Park

Dear Annette,

You should invest in a personal lubricant. Since you are using condoms, I recommend that you get a water-based one since that will work better with your body and the condom. Also your partner could spend some more time arousing you with foreplay before starting intercourse.

Good luck