All the Single Ladies!

For a very long time in our society, women had very distinct roles: wife and mother.

From she was a young girl, she was taught by her mother how to serve her husband and the importance of not only bearing children, but being the main caregiver to them. This role was her job and for a long time, that's what women did. Enter the latter part of the 20th century and women earned the right to vote, to be educated, access to birth control, and the whole dynamic changed. These new laws created opportunities for women to get out of the house, earn qualifications, and get a job. Fast-forward 50 or so years, and the role of women has been completely redefined.

Yes, she is still a wife and mother, but now, she is so much more. One of the major differences that have taken place is that there is a large group of women who have never married - the single ladies. Since most women choose to focus on their education and careers in the early part of their life, many women get to their late 30s, happy with where they are in their careers, and now they're ready to settle down. Problem is, she now takes a look around at the available men and realises that not only are the pickings slim, it seems that men are not interested in women who are successful in their careers. It seems that even though women have evolved, men are still looking for the ultimate domestic goddess to be their wife, and a woman who is very involved with her career does not fit that bill.

Another factor to look at is the fact that more women are choosing to remain single. Gaining economic independence is one of the most significant milestones that women have achieved, and this has opened opportunities for them. So now, instead of her only options being inside the home, many women are opting to live a less traditional life. She's choosing to concentrate on her career, travel and other goals instead of the stereotypical becoming a wife and having children. Some 44.9 per cent of the unmarried population aged 18 and older are female (US Census Bureau).

For the single women who are interested in getting married, it seems there is simply not enough single men to go around. For every 100 unmarried women, there are 88 unmarried men (US Census Bureau). It seems that not only are good men hard to find, but the available men - good, bad and indifferent - are simply not enough. So what are single women supposed to do? Give up on finding a partner? Consider sharing men? For many women, none of these suggestions is suitable and they still dream about finding Mr Right, settling down, and starting a family, but in the face of the evidence, are these dreams realistic?

FIND YOUR HAPPINESS

My advice to single women is simple: Recognise that your happiness starts with you and do not leave it up to finding a partner. You can always share your happiness with that person once you find him, but it is your job to find it in the first place. As for finding Mr Right, he's out there, but don't delay starting your life because you are still trying to find him. Go about your business; live your life. You will cross paths with the person you will eventually choose, so just keep an open mind and enjoy the journey until it happens.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com, or Tweet me @drsexyann, or Facebook www.facebook.com/allaboutthesexy

Website: www.drsexyann.com

Question

Dear Dr Sexy-Ann,

I'm tired of being single. I want to have children. I'm 25 and I am running out of time. Help! I need a man!

Keisha, Duhaney Park

Dear Keisha,

Calm down! First of all, 25 is quite young, so you have lots of time. At your age, time is on your side, so slow down and allow yourself to appreciate who you are as a person. Yes, I understand that you want to be in a relationship, but approaching it from a desperate mindset is not the best way to choose a partner. Go out, meet new people, allow yourself to explore, you might just meet the man you will spend your life with. It's a process; allow it to happen. Don't put so much pressure on it or yourself. Enjoy the journey.

Good luck!

Dr Sexy-Ann