Women: We are our worst enemies

We are daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, aunts - women - and we have come a long way.

With Hilary Clinton making history in the United States becoming the first female nominee for president, women around the world watch as another milestone is reached by a member of the fairer sex, and we all wonder what it will mean for the rest of us.

I understand her presidency is a significant achievement for women, especially since it was not that long ago that women were not even allowed to vote.

But when we look at the average woman living in a very challenging economy, it seems like she is doing much more than what was required of her mother and grandmother in the past.

Who is the modern woman?

Unlike our ancestors, the modern woman is much more than a domestic goddess and childbearer. She is also an entrepreneur, a lawmaker, a game changer, and so much more. With all that the modern woman is taking on, there is still so much that she is still trying to achieve.

The fact that a man, doing the exact same job as she, makes more money is an injustice that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.

But with all the obstacles women continue to face, we are still our worst enemies. Women are too judgmental of each other. As little girls, we are taught to be competitive, so we take that lesson into adulthood. The truth of the matter is that we are stronger when we support rather than compete with each other.

Too often we see examples of women gossiping, criticising and being very unsupportive of each other. Traditionally, girls are taught to be very competitive, but not for academic accomplishment or career goals, but for the attention of men.

It is so bad that if her man cheats on her, a woman's first instinct is usually to confront the other woman first instead of the man. If women were more supportive of each other, the overall results would be exponentially more positive.

Here are some things women can do to build each other up:

1. Be more empathetic. Before you judge her for her choices, try to see things from her perspective.

2. Instead of participating in gossip, try telling the participants to mind their own business. You don't have to pass on the story for it to count, just listening to gossip counts.

3. Resolve to pay the women in your life compliments instead of criticising them. The things you say matter, so say uplifting things.

4. Don't treat another woman's accomplishment as a threat to yours. You can use her success as motivation to help you achieve your goals.

5. Celebrate each other. It does not have to be a milestone, but cheer on each little hurdle.

After spending a weekend in the presence of amazing women sharing their stories at the We Inspire Women event, I have an even more tenacious resolve to empower us to be more cooperative with each other.

At the end of the day, when the women in the family are happy, the entire family benefits, so it's in our interest to take care of and celebrate our women.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or Tweet me @drsexyann or Facebook

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Question

Dear Dr Sexy-Ann,

I'm in love with two men. I don't want to choose, but my friends keep on telling me that I have to. I love them both and I would love to have all three of us get along, but I know for sure that will be a problem. What should I do?

Kelly, Mandeville

Dear Kelly,

I understand your dilemma, but if you are lying to them about your relationship, it can backfire on you. It would be different if they knew about each other, but lies have a way of becoming exposed, so it may be in your best interest to fess up. Who knows, they just might be open to being in a relationship with you anyway.

Good luck!

Dr Sexy-Ann