Rasta and the white meat

A Jamaican Rastaman up ya deh wid a white woman. Him a good-good Rasta, eva a big up Selassie, know African history like wow, rate up Ethiopia and Shashamane to di fullest, an always a preach black empowerment. Soh is not a man weh jus have him hair inna locks, man a full Rasta.

Anyways, him deh mongst him bredren dem an dem a keep up bare almshouse. Two-twos dem fun drama gaan pon swiping. One a di Trini inna di group buss out say pretty much all Jamaican man a farrin eat, but dem always a deny it.

Di Rastaman an two oda Jamaicans staat say a lie dat, an dat while some Jamaican man dweet, most don't. Di Trini wappy back an say di Jamaican man dem who naa dweet nuh know wa dem a miss.

Dem laugh an argue di whole time till it reach a point weh di Trini goh say him sure even Marcus Garvey did a do it too! An a deh soh tings staat get mucky.

Now if anybaddy know Rasta philosophy, unu know say dem regard Marcus Garvey as a prophet - cause a him did say look to di east for di crowning of a black king - who di Rasta dem interpret to be Haile Selassie.

Soh Garvey an Selassie are held in extremely high regard by pretty much all Rastas. You will den undastan why di Ras Inna di group immediately get bringle wen di trini mek di talk say Garvey eat di ting. Di ras get serious an mek dem know dem nuh fi include Garvey inna dem loose talk deh. But di Trini neva stap. Di Trini tell him say, in trute, all Haile Selassie coulda did dweet too.

Dat mek di Ras get raging mad!

Bare badwud staat cuss an bare sitin. Di ras staat gwaan like him waan fight di Trini, but di Trini tan up trang an mek him know anyting a anyting! Di Trini staat get up inna him feelings an tell di ras straight...all yuh nyam it too! Di Ras still a mek up bare nize pon di Trini but naa deny di ting. Soh di Trini notice an say all now yuh no say yuh doan dweet. Di Ras a cuss same way an still nuh deny it.

Di Trini say yuh mus dweet if yuh deh ya a say yuh sure Garvey an Selassie nuh dweet, but yuh cyaan say you yuh self doan dweet. Di crowd staat say a serious point dat still. Dat draw out di Ras an mek him bawl out say him doan dweet. Right away di Trini move to di Ras white woman, who did siddung deh silent all dis time, an ask har fi verify.

Di Ras woman a look an naa ansa. Di Trini jus presha har fi di betta an again say she fi swear to God say him nuh tongue-bless up di ting. She still naa ansa. Same time di Ras bawl out to har say she fi ansa!

Him woman den look pon him inna shock and confusion an goh say, "I'm confused, what do you want me to say?" Da response deh alone mek everybaddy figure out waa gwaan, an everybaddy staat laugh!

Trini site di rake an bawl out to di woman say, doan mek him mek yuh tell lie! DWL!! Same time di heat a tek di Ras an him goh quietly say to har, "I can't believe you're doing this to me." Den she goh respond, "I'm sorry, you know I'm a devoted Christian. I just can't tell a bold lie under God's name."

Di place mash up!!!

Everybaddy staat run up an dung wid bare laughing! Trini staat tease di Ras wicked, an di res a di man dem staat draw bare cyaad pon him. Di Ras get bex an walk out, den him woman falla back a him.

But hear mi man ... mi undastan how di Ras coulda get bex wid di Trini fi wah him say bout Garvey an Selassie. I woulda neva tell a Rasta dat, much less entertain dem foolishniss deh. Mi have too much respect fi Rastafari fi goh do dem supm deh. Furthermore, dat's like smaddy a talk to a Christian an a involve Jesus inna dem cayliss disrespectful talk deh.

Anyways, a leggomentz again enoh. Sen mi unu drama dem at ragashanti@ragashanti.com See unu nex Thursday, same place ya soh inna THE STAR. Bless up unu self same way.

Road!