I was fingered, am I still a virgin?

Dear Pastor,

I am 16 and having a problem. I have a boyfriend who is 18. One day he asked me for sex.

I asked him if he had a condom and he said no. He couldn't get one because of where we were so we did not have sex. He started to kiss me and the more he kissed me, the I enjoyed it. He also fingered me and I started to feel pain. I told him but he could not stop. He told me what I should do with his penis and he ejaculated in my hands.

When he was finished fingering me, I saw a little blood. Pastor, did I lose my virginity? Can fingering a girl cause her to lose her virginity?

M.P.

Dear M.P.,

I am not a medical doctor but I will try to answer your question. You can still ask a gynecologist.

A girl as a virgin can lose her virginity by having sex with a man but when one considers a woman's virginity, one thinks of the hymen not being broken. Can fingering do that? The truth is, I am not sure. Some argue that a girl can medically lose her virginity by something like fingering but unless she has sexually intercourse, she may not consider that she is no longer a virgin. I do not know why you are worried as to whether or not you are still a virgin because if the young man had procured a condom and both of you had sex the hymen would have been broken anyway. Your boyfriend evidently fingered you vigorously.

I don't believe that you should worry too much because you can't have it both ways.

Pastor