Do you think I should marry him, pastor?

Dear Pastor,

Greetings in the mighty name of Jesus our soon coming King. I am a regular reader of your column and I must commend you on the wonderful work that you are doing. Keep it up. I am seeking your kind counselling. I met a gentleman a few years ago when I visited a branch of my church. He was very warm and welcoming and very respectful. He was married at the time and he spoke highly of his family.

However, one day I was out and I saw him coming from the doctor and he said he wasn't feeling well and he was waiting on his driver. I waited with him and we grabbed something to eat in the meantime. While waiting, his wife approached and without asking any questions she started accusing us of having a relationship and calling me names etc. Pastor, this man has never disrespected me or even attempted to touch me in any way.

A few months later she kicked him out and took out a restraining order against him. She went on Facebook and removed my pictures and kept sending them to persons and saying I broke up her relationship. She even sent them to my church family and relatives. When they didn't agree with her, she cursed them the most disgraceful way. They have been separated now for over three years and he now wants to have a relationship with me and wants us to get married.

What should I do?

K.M.

Dear K.M.,

I suggest that this man and you go to see your pastor and discuss this man's proposal to you. There are some questions that you must answer. Why did this man's wife throw him out? What wrong did he do? Reading your letter it would appear as if this woman is crazy and the way she behaved while her husband and you were having lunch gave the impression that she is not altogether stable but that is not necessarily so.

This man wants to have a relationship with you. The question is however, do you want to have a relationship with him? He has children therefore; he would have to be communicating with his wife in the interest of the children unless of course they are adults which I doubt. You did not give your age or his age. I am not prepared to tell you that you should not consider his proposal. However, I must caution you not to be in haste to accept his proposal and if you do agree to marry him that both of you go through a series of premarital counselling before you get married.

Pastor