My wife is withholding sex

Dear Pastor,

Is it right for my wife to deprive me of sex? When we got married, my wife and I had sex often like three times a week. Our marriage produced four children. My wife is five years older than I. I am 50. Both of us work hard. I must give her

credit where credit is due. Now my wife hardly wants to sleep with me. She is complaining of pain in her knees and in her back. She has gotten very heavy. The doctor told her to take off some weight and she would feel better. She is always complaining and blaming me for all her pains. I have been faithful to my wife. I have never cheated on her but I need sex. I am a church man. She says that she has had enough sex so she can do without it for a while. Even my children ask her why we are not sleeping together and she told them I moved out of the bedroom which is a lie. I cannot stay in the same bedroom and on the same bed and not touch my wife. It is hard on me, so please, help me, sir.

N.T.

Dear N.T.,

It is not right for a man to withhold sex from his wife or for his wife to withhold sex from him. The Bible says that is wrong. Couples do so all the time to punish each other and often when that is done the marriage begins to deteriorate. I suggest therefore that you ask your wife to accompany you to see a family counsellor. If your pastor is a trained counsellor you should talk to him first but if your wife prefers to go somewhere else then you should agree to do so. If your wife refuses to receive professional help she has lost interest in the relationship. Something needs to be done to spice up your relationship so, please, get some professional help.

Pastor