Trying to get rid of my homosexual lifestyle

Dear Pastor,

I am a frequent reader of your column and I must say keep up the good work. I am a 20-year-old male living with my grandparents until I've finished my studies. I am pursing a degree in primary education. I am not a Christian. However, I was brought up in an Adventist household. Growing up in my community, I would say those were the good old days. I used to visit my neighbours, where I was surrounded by younger and older children and those of the same age group as I am.

At this particular house lived a sibling family of about five children, where I visited quiet often and participated in sexual intercourse. Incest was practised among these teenagers as they were three girls and two boys. Furthermore, oral and anal sex between both brothers, including myself at times, was pratised.

Pastor, that was when I were about eight years of age and it bothers me. Even other teenage boys and male cousins used to visit this household for sex. I was recently involved with a male, which I really regret. I want to stop, and I am planning on getting baptised, but I don't wish to seek repentance until I am over this unclean life. Please give me your advice. Fathers were not present in this home and the absence of the mother was because of her mental issues.

Troubled

Dear Troubled,

I hope that you will not seek to be baptised until you believe that you have experienced victory over your homosexual practices or way of life. I am in no way condemning you. Evidently, when you were young and visiting your neighbours, you engaged in sex with both male and female. At that time, however, the activities that you had with the boys did not bother you as much as the sex you had with this grown man. You must know why you are so troubled now. Could it be that this man is much older than you, or is it that you feel that you know better?

I wish to suggest that you end the relationship with this man and all the males with whom you have had sexual relations and that you seek professional help. I know that there are folks who are eager to condemn me because I do not encourage same-sex relations. I am not condemning anybody and I am only trying to respond to you the best way I can. You are not comfortable in what you are doing. Something inside of you is telling you that what you are doing is wrong.

I am sure you have been praying about the matter. Continue to do so. You may wish to discuss this matter with the pastor of your church or with a Christian psychologist. I assure you of my prayer and may the Good Lord lead you.

Pastor