Can you help me find a woman, pastor?

Dear Pastor,

I am a single man. From I was born I have never had sex. I cannot take the single life anymore. Sometimes I feel sorry that I was born. I just feel like killing myself. Can you help me find a girlfriend, please?

K

Dear K,

I hope that after you get married you will be in a position to enjoy any amount of sex. If any woman is interested in meeting you, I would let you know.

Pastor