I refused sex so he told me to pay for my dinner
Dear Pastor,
I am 19 and employed. I met a man who did business at my workplace. We exchanged telephone numbers, though the company forbids employees giving their contact information to customers.
I liked him and saw that he liked me too, so I took the chance. He told me he had a girlfriend who is studying abroad. He is 25 and lives alone. He looked and spoke like a gentleman.
Every day when I got home from work he called. This went on for three months. I wondered why he did not invite me out, but I never asked.
My first boyfriend invited me out very day. We did not go anywhere, but he put it in my head that he wanted to take me out. It took this man three months to invite me out.
When we we went on our first date, a police officer stopped him. He took out some papers and got out of the car. I don't know what the police said to him, but I heard him say, "Well, it is not my car!" and the police replied, "But you are driving it!"
I thought the car was his because I was impressed to be with a man driving such a lovely and expensive car. We went to dinner and everything he said pointed to sex.
He told me he'd will take me to his house to have sex after we have dinner. I told him no. Then he said, "If we are not going to have sex you will have to pay for dinner."
I told him that that was OK with me and if I am paying for my dinner, he didn't have to take me home.
Would you believe that the worthless man took money from me to help him to pay for my dinner? Yes, I had enough money on me because I was told to always carry money when I am going out.
I refused to go back into his car although he insisted that he was only joking about the dinner. I called a taxi and went home. He still does business at my workplace, but I don't talk to him. I cannot believe anything this man says. He wants me to forgive him and for us to try again, but I told him no.
J.N.
Dear J.N.,
You are a wise and intelligent young woman. Though you violated the rules of your company by giving this man your number, he was not able to have his way with you.
You cannot be sure that the things he told you are true. He thought you were a cheap and desperate girl. Many men rent or borrow cars to impress girls. They don't own these vehicles. Sometimes the cars are company cars and they have the privilege of driving them to carry out the company's work.
If their employment is terminated, they have to leave the cars behind. Don't allow what a man drives to impress you. Even if the cars belong to them, they can hardly maintain them.
This man told you that he has a girlfriend, but she is studying abroad. He is probably married. He is a liar. When he told you he has a woman, you should have backed away. Perhaps you thought it was just a dinner date so no harm could have been done.
Now you know that you cannot judge a man by the clothes he wears, the car he drives, or where he lives.
I have said enough. I am glad you paid for your dinner and that you had enough money to take a taxi home. I wish you well. Walk carefully, young woman. The days are evil.
Pastor