Trying to find my dad and a companion

I was born in Kensington, Portland. My mother's name is Madge Hodges. I heard that my father's name is Dudley Williams. He migrated to England. He has a sister who lives in Boston, Portland. Her name is Suzie or Suzette.

I was taken from Portland when I was four or five and came to Kingston to live with my grandmother. She moved from her family home when I was about 16. I have been on my own ever since.

I went to Canada in 1986. I was part of a domino team. The competition lasted five weeks, but I never returned. I was living on the streets before I left Jamaica, so I had nothing to return to. In 1980, I had to flee from Coburn Gardens, where I was staying at the time, because of politics.

While in Canada, I got into trouble in 1992 and was deported that year. I was underground in Canada for 18 years. I worked for an agent there.

I was found out during a traffic stop and was sent back to Jamaica. Before I was deported, I asked my mother about my father. Everytime I did, she got defensive, so I stopped asking.

Pastor, I am trying to find out what I can about him on my own. I have a lot of relatives in Portland but nobody knows anything and my mother is not saying much.

She migrated to the United States to be with her dad. She was in Jamaica. She accidentally told me that she used to live in Portland. She was searching for the house she lived in. She also mentioned my father's sister's name. Her name is Suzie.

Pastor, I am also trying to get a nice woman as my companion. I could help her out with food and maybe some of the bills. I am not looking for anyone to take care of me. I just need a lady friend to build a relationship with. I need someone who is real and not into playing games.

I am 55 and I need a good environment where there is no violence. Portland is OK. I have been there four times since I have been back.

God bless you.

D.W.

Dear D.W.,

Your purpose for writing to me is twofold. You are trying to locate your father, Dudley Williams. Your mother hasn't said much about him to you. That is unfortunate. It would have made it much easier for you to find him if she had said more.

Perhaps something bad happened between them and it is too embarrassing for her to divulge. Sometimes mothers are secretive towards their children because withholding the information is their way of punishing the fathers.

You know his sister's name and where they are from. I hope someone who knows their whereabouts contacts us. You are 55, so it's likely that your father might be in his seventies or eighties. I hope he is still alive.

You wish to find a woman. What have you been doing all these years? I am sure that you have not been living as a hermit. You haven't said whether you were married. How can a 55-year-old man be looking for a woman?

I think you are looking for a "companion", not a wife. You just want a woman to call your own, so to speak. I think you only want a woman to use, perhaps someone to clean, wash, cook and get sex.

At 55 you are not serious about family life. This kind of relationship is called "friends with benefits". You are too old for that.

Get serious about life!

Pastor