I let a good woman slip away from me

Dear Pastor,

I am a 36-year-old male who needs a bit of advice. About 2014, I met this waitress at a popular hotel in Ocho Rios.

She was about 24. At the time I had my girlfriend whom I was dating since 2010, but I didn't share this information with her. I was a security guard and this girl seemed different and she had morals and standards. She was also studying to be a nurse. I was drawn to her because she was ambitious and my girl still wanted me to buy her lace wigs, and expensive make-up, even though we could barely pay our bills.

This girl took my dirty epaulettes off my uniform and took them home to wash them. She bought me two new pairs of pants. She also took my white shirts and washed them. She did all this while my girlfriend used to complain after I worked a 36-hour shift and asked her to wash or iron a shirt for me. She said she was tired. We had a washing machine and she still complained about being tired. I used to leave work and had to cook when I got home even though she came home first. This new girl was really genuine and pure and I found myself always wanting to be with her. I bought her nice gifts for her birthday or when she aced her exams. She graduated nursing school with honours and was valedictorian. She made me feel like I was appreciated.

I got a job offer to work directly with the company that owns the pier and I was reluctant as the security company gave me a start and I didn't want to ditch them. My new girl encouraged me to take the better opportunity and use it wisely to better myself. She even wrote the resignation letter for me and I took the new job with way more money for less hours and I ended up with a car soon after.

This new girl reads a lot and she loaned me a book, plus she asked me to put movies on her laptop. I hid the book and my girlfriend found it and got my new girl's contact number. She started terrorising this girl and of course my new girl was extremely angry because I never told her I had a girlfriend. I felt really bad when I saw the hurt I had caused her. I knew that if I had told her I had a girlfriend she wouldn't date me because she's not that kind of person. But I was thinking selfishly that I wanted what she had to offer. It got to a point where my girlfriend was making fake profiles and sending messages to herself pretending to be my new girl.

At first, I thought it was my new girl making trouble so I told her that I can't give up my girlfriend for her and that I had to say goodbye to her. Pretty soon my girlfriend started being really nice and then she got pregnant. I felt trapped but I decided that might as well continue; so a few years after we got married. Then I found all the evidence of all she did. I doubt she even remembered that she hid those and I can never trust her again. She got a job in another country and has been there for three years. I have drifted from her and have been seeing a few different girls.

Earlier this year, I saw that nurse from years ago. She looked really great, married with a pretty little girl and she is well established in life. I did some research and realised that I had lost a good woman. Now more than ever, I want to leave my wife. Then I found out this woman's husband is in another country. I tried to reach out to her on different social media platforms but there was no response. I'm not sure if I should approach her and ask for forgiveness and see if it's possible for us to get back together. Give me your honest feedback please.

A.A.

Dear A.A.,

I don't believe everything you have written but whether you are speaking the truth or not, you should keep yourself quiet and not try to pursue the woman.

She is gone. She has established a family with another man. She doesn't need you because you have proven to be a liar and a deceiver. Wherever you are, stay there and leave this woman alone. You do not deserve her.

Pastor