Boyfriend does not want to get a degree

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and I have a boyfriend. We have been together for two years. He is not bright but I love him very much.

He works in his father's business. I have tried to encourage him to go back to school because I have always wanted a husband who has a degree. But this man is not interested in having a degree. He has a sister and she has her master's degree. I have a bachelor of science degree.

My boyfriend is no fool. He can strip a car and put it back together. I have heard him argue with lawyers and he knows what he is saying, but I still would like to see him go back to school and get a degree. I have even threatened him that I will leave him unless he goes to school and studies. He told me that any time I am willing to leave him, he will adjust to that. I don't intend to leave him, but I told him that I would to see how he would react. This man would give his life for me.

My parents are educators and they encouraged my sister and I to go to university. They ask me from time to time what my boyfriend is doing, and why hasn't he gone back to school. They do not consider him to be ambitious, but I know he has ambition. What can I do to get this man to go to school and to earn a degree?

H.B.

Dear H.B.,

Let me tell you, earning a degree doesn't necessarily mean that a person is smart.

In today's world, a person does not have to attend all classes face-to-face to earn a degree. He can do courses that are fully accredited online. There are also universities that are so arranged that a man can take exams in the presence of examiners that they have approved of without him attending the university on campus. So instead of forcing this man to attend classes on campus, wherever that may be, try and find a university that would suit him and encourage him to do the courses online.

You say that this man is very smart. Evidently, both of you love each other. However, you should respect his position and do not give him the impression that you wish to control him.

Pastor