Can’t live without sex in my 60s

Dear Pastor,

I am in my 60s, and for many years I have been reading your column. Long before I was married, I enjoyed reading it. I migrated when I was in my early 30s and I met my husband overseas. He was not Jamaican. We got along very well. But he was not the type of man who believed that a woman should talk back to him. He thought that I was too assertive and that I wanted to rule him. Finally, he packed his clothes and left without telling me that he was leaving. I cried for a couple of days, but my friends helped me to pull myself together and to overcome him.

I have gone out and have had many men since my husband left me and divorced me. I am told that I am still very attractive. I have my own house. I am a little embarrassed to tell you that I am still sexually active. I have to remember that you are a pastor and I should not be disrespectful to you. Please don't think that I am. I have never stopped having sex. I have had some very good men in my life. I go to the gym twice per week and I love to swim, which keeps me fit.

Recently, I met a man who is 70 years old and we became friends. This man invests in real estate, and that is something I love. I have a few houses. This man says that he wants to settle down with a good woman like me. He likes to chat, but he does not talk too much about his business. He has five children and I have three. He lives alone, but he has a caregiver.

Pastor, this man has a beautiful house and it is kept very clean. I asked him whether he would consider marrying his caregiver and he said no because although she is single, her man and him are good friends. He has taken me to many places, including on a cruise. He did not tell his children that he was taking me along, but my children were aware. He is American and now that we are together, he is learning more about Jamaica and wants to visit. He told me that one of the things he likes about me is that I do not ask him for money. Pastor, I have worked and saved and made my own investments. If I could do without sex, I would not have a man in my life, but I have not yet come to the place where I can do without sex.

Don't worry to tell me I am bad, because I know I am not. I am just telling you the truth, and I want you to know that I enjoy reading your column every day. Keep up your good work.

Golden Age

Dear Golden Age,

You don't have to be worried about whether I would be upset by the things you say; you are expressing yourself.

What you wrote is how you feel about yourself and men. You cannot turn back the clock. You have lived your life. Whether your life was good or bad, that cannot change. Recently, I heard a man say on radio that he is sorry he is no longer young. I wouldn't want to be young again. Perhaps I would make big mistakes, and I know I have made some mistakes that I really regret, but I cannot change them.

You should be commended for making wise investments. Real estate and buying stocks are extremely good investments. The market goes up and down, but they are good investments. Whoever encouraged you in real estate or in stocks gave you solid advice. Good men love women who have made such solid investments.

You say that you love sex. It is not something to be embarrassed about. I have been counselling for years and I have discovered that both healthy women and not so healthy women are always looking for men, not just to be their companions, but men who would spend time with them in bed. I am saying that I sanction that. I am only making the point that it is a fact. Some women who are in their 60s and 70s are very 'hot'.

Perhaps if this man and you believe that you have a future together, you should consider getting married. But make sure that you see a lawyer and sign a prenuptial agreement and get some premarital counselling before you tie the knot.

Pastor