My employer is paying me to sleep with her

Dear Pastor,

I am 28 and I was living with my grandparents until recently. I was not working.

A man that I know got me a job as a gardener and caretaker for a woman who is 71 and lives alone. Her husband died about three years ago. One neighbour told me that nobody can stay with her because she is miserable.

I took the job. One thing I can say about her is that she has never owed me any money. This woman pays me more than the minimum wage. Since I have been here working with her, two girls that she employed left. They told me that she insisted that they must wash her under garments and they refused. Whatever she wears, she just throws it in a basket and insists that these girls should wash it. She used to live in England and it seems as if the cold weather is still in her head.

She told the man who got me the job that I don't have to go home every day because I am wasting money. She has a big room at the side of the house. This man wants to encourage me to tell her that I can stay there. I told him she would have to ask me. One of her female friends told her that she likes me and she told me. I told her that I am not interested because I already have a girlfriend and she said my girlfriend cannot help me. She said she can give me much more than my girlfriend can. I told the man who got me the job that I am going to leave. But he said I would be stupid to leave. But this lady reminds me so much of my grandmother.

The woman told me that she wanted me to sleep with her. She was always staring at me and she did not sit properly. One night it was raining and she said that she missed her husband and that she was glad that I was there. She said I am muscular, and asked if I would make her age prevent me from sleeping with her. She said that if I slept with her, she would pay me. I told her I was sleepy so I went into my room. She came into my room, got on the bed and took off her robe. I was so nervous. She started to play with my private parts and I developed an erection. She came on me and I had sex with her. The man who got me the job said I was a lucky man. We have had sex five times. Sometimes she wants me to stay with her every night. But I can't because I have a girlfriend.

This woman gives me $17,000 every week and an extra $5,000 for 'servicing' her, she calls it. I want to leave but she pays me well. She has even promised that if I leave my girlfriend she would buy me a car. I love my girlfriend very much and I am not planning to leave her. I told the woman that she should allow my girlfriend to come and stay with me sometimes and she said that she would think about it.

Please give me your advice.

P.S.

Dear P.S.,

I doubt very much that your grandmother would be pleased to know that you are having a sexual relationship with your employer.

I know a man who suspected that his wife was having sex with a much younger man. She never admitted it. But her husband became ill and died and he carried that belief in his heart. On the other hand, I know a woman in her 70s who was not ashamed to tell her friends that this young man was having sex with her.

I am not surprised that this woman has been offering you money for taking care of her sexual needs. That is why when older women come to see me with their men and ask me to do their weddings, I question them, but I do not refuse. On the other hand, I have met young men who are with these women because they are only trying to get a part of the women's wealth.

This man who got you the job told you that you are fortunate but your conscience bothers you that this woman reminds you of your grandmother. If you know that you are very unhappy, you need to end the relationship and leave the job. I am telling you as I see it. You have your girlfriend and this woman will not allow her to visit you. She doesn't want you to be away from her for any long period.

I don't think I need to ask you which of these women you want to deal with because you already stated how comfortable you are in this relationship. Perhaps you can tell the lady that you can keep the job if no sex has to be involved. Say that to her as soon as you can and let me hear from you again.

Pastor