Boyfriend’s father is telling lies on me

Dear Pastor,

I'm in my early 20s and I'm from Kingston. I wrote to you when I was in high school; I was 15 years old at that time.

I told you that people used to say that I was as a promiscuous teenager, however I was not. I was sexually abused three times; when I was 10, 12 and 14. I also wasn't having any form of sexual interactions at the time I was sexually abused.

I met a guy in 2022 and we started dating, but we are having trust issues and we do not communicate very well. People have told plenty of lies on me as well. Currently, I'm not going out anywhere except for work, but I am hearing that I am being unfaithful to this man. I am planning to end the relationship with him because my father-in-law has been creating feuds between my mother-in-law and my boyfriend. He is saying that I want to have a relationship with him. He has been trying to get involved with other girls in my presence; he has affairs with other women and is trying to blame me.

My boyfriend and I want to get engaged, but all these allegations are preventing us from doing so. Please tell us what to do?

M.L.

Dear M.L.,

I am sorry to know that you were sexually abused at a very tender age. But I hope that you received therapy.

You said people thought that you were promiscuous. I am sure that that affected you psychologically and emotionally. Sometimes folks can be very cruel, and when children complain about being sexually abused, they blame the children.

The young man with whom you are having a relationship cannot be trusted. If you cannot trust this man, you shouldn't be dating him. I have said for many years in this column that communication and trust are important in a relationship. If your boyfriend and you are not communicating well and you don't trust him, it is better to end the relationship with him. He does not trust you, neither does he trust his relatives.

If you want to continue the relationship with him, both of you should call a family counsellor and make an appointment to see the person. But judging by what you have written, I cannot encourage you to go further with this man.

Pastor