Left a deadbeat man and found the right guy

Dear Pastor,

Thank you for your good advice. I was with a man for four years and he was always promising to marry me.

But when the time was drawing near, he changed his mind. I left him and I found another man, and this man is serious about the relationship. I have two children and he is a good father to them. My son loves sports and this man goes to every game, and he is strict with the children. He sees to it that they do their homework and that they don't fool around. I wonder where he was all this time when I was with the other man.

He is building a house in St Catherine and as soon as the house is finished, we are planning to get married. He is not fooling me. We have even gone to see the pastor. He has talked to a lawyer about putting my name on his land title. The land was surveyed and his piece is bordered off. It was given to him by his uncle. He is building a three-bedroom house on the land. One of his friends told him that he is taking a big risk by putting my name on his land title. But he told me that he trusts me, so he is not afraid of doing so.

I will never let this man down. I don't intend to have another man with him. My children love him, and that is what is important to me. The man I used to live with has tried to scandalise my name by saying I used to keep men with him. That is so far from the truth. He used to keep other women with me, but I never went to another man while we were together. Although he was a mean man, I was satisfied with whatever money he gave to me. My new man is a hard-working farmer. I take pride in getting up in the morning and making his breakfast, and cooking his dinner every day.

I want to say to young women, walk away from men who don't mean you any good. That is what I did, and it is bearing fruit.

S.R.

Dear S.R.,

I don't know why some men believe that they have to fool women, and believe that these women can't do without them.

What you have said about this man making promises to you and then failing to keep them is not unusual. I once visited a home, and a man came there, and the lady of the house said, "Pastor, this is the man I was always telling you about. This is the father of my children and he is always making me promises." The man said, "Alright, alright, it's okay now, I have fully made up my mind, and we are going to get married." But I must hasten to tell you that he did not marry that woman. One day he had a terrible stroke and died, leaving that woman and three children behind. He did not leave anything for these children. He had no money and no property. That woman struggled with those children alone. She educated them and they have tried to support her.

You were quite correct in leaving this man. I can understand why a friend of the man you are with questioned whether he was doing the correct thing by putting your name on the title. Some women cannot be trusted, but you are fortunate that this man trusts you and took that risk. Take good care of him. Intelligent women know that they should prepare their husbands' meals. Which man doesn't want to know that his woman takes pleasure in doing so?

He is a hard-working man; take care of him.

Pastor