Money destroys husband’s friendship

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 years old and I am married. My husband borrowed money from a friend of his, but I was not aware of it until this friend advised me of the loan. He took $1 million from his friend and promised to repay the friend in two years. He has not been doing so, so his friend, in desperation, has turned to me for his money. I had nothing to do with the transaction between my husband and his friend. His friend has threatened to take him to court if he does not repay his money soon.

I asked my husband what he did with the money he said he put it in a certain business and the business is not doing very well. I asked him why he did not tell me that he had borrowed the money, and he said he did not tell me because he knew that I would not agree. If my husband was paying the loan he would have almost finish repaying the man, and I would not have known about it.

When the man complained to me that my husband owed him, he said some nasty things about my husband, including that my husband can find money to give his girlfriends and is ignoring his obligation to repay the loan. I asked this man why he is accusing my husband of having other women and he said yes, he knows some of these women.

My husband apologised for not telling me about the loan, but insist that this man should wait until he has made arrangements to pay him back. He is hoping to get a loan from a financial institution and to pay his friend every cent. I spoke to a friend about the situation and he told me not to make any arrangement with this man to repay the loan because I did not sign to anything with the lender. It is so embarrassing. These men were such good friends, and listening to this man now you would think that my husband is a thief.

Do you suggest that I should sign a promissory note to repay this man the money my husband borrowed? This man is pulling my husband's name to the ground and I feel embarrassed.

D.

Dear D.,

As you know, I am not a lawyer so I do not give legal advice. You may contact a lawyer and ask him or her for advice, but common sense tells me that you should not make any arrangements to repay this man. Allow your husband to make all the arrangements; after all, he was the one who borrowed the money and promised to repay the full amount. He told you that he was trying to arrange with a financial institution to get the full amount to repay his friend, let him do so.

I wish that people could get along in life without burdening themselves by borrowing money. It is easy now a days to borrow, but it is not very easy to repay. So I do not encourage people to borrow from institutions or from friends and relatives. Learn to live on what you earn and do without what you do not have. For example, a credit card might be very helpful, but it should be used sparingly, and try to avoid even using debit cards. The Bible says that "the borrower is a slave to the lender".

Your husband should not have borrowed any money without your knowledge. But having borrowed, he should make proper arrangement to repay the loan without a fuss.

Pastor