Wife wants a house but I want to attend university

Dear Pastor,

I am 30-year-old married man. My wife and I have two children. We are trying not to have any more.

I come from a large family, but I do not intend to have many children. I am in the construction business. I would love to be an architect. I have my eyes set on going to the University of Technology, Jamaica. My wife is a teacher. She is always accusing me of looking at other women. I love beautiful women, but I don't go after them. I trust my wife with the money that I make. Whatever I earn, I take home, and she spends it in whatever way she likes.

We are paying rent, but my wife is always talking about us buying a house. I do not see how we would be able to do so, as I have plans to go to university. Sometimes I am tempted to apply for a US visa, but I do not have anybody in America with whom I can stay and work for a few months and earn some money. My wife is not in favour of that plan. We are paying $30,000 for rent; it is so hard to keep up with the rent, food, and schooling for the children. Please give me your suggestion.

E.T.

Dear E.T.,

Have you ever heard people say that when a man is not married, he should have his eyes wide open, but after he is married, he should keep one of his eyes closed because he ought not to be looking for a wife any more?

Your wife believes that you have roaming eyes. She feels that you are admiring every woman, but you should assure her that although you love to look at beauty, you have no intention of trying to become intimate with every woman you see.

You seem to be an ambitious man. You are in the construction business, and that is very tough. I congratulate you for taking your pay cheque home. Let your wife spend the money. I am sure she will save some of it. I hope that you will be able to go to university to pursue your goal. Don't forget that if you intend to go to America on a visit, you should not work on a visitor's visa. So that is the reason why your wife probably doesn't want you to go; and she does not feel that you may want to come back to your family after the visa has expired.

Dear sir, listen to your wife. She is not a fool, and she means you well. Many times, people visit North America and overstay their time and work, without receiving permission to do so. Sometimes they are caught and deported. But sometimes these folks come back to Jamaica and within a couple of months, they try to return to America. But when they reach immigration, they are not allowed in; they are sent back immediately to Jamaica. Don't allow that to happen to you.

Pastor