I’m not enough for my greedy boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am having a big problem. I am 24 years old and I am living with a man who is 25.

This man and I came together when my boyfriend went to the United States of America (USA). Soon after he got there, he called me on the phone and told me he was not coming back. I could not believe that he would treat me that way because the night before he left, he made love to me and told me he would never forget me. I accompanied him to the airport, and he hugged me and kissed me. I started to cry and he told me I do not need to cry because everything will be alright.

When he told me on the phone that he was not coming back, I asked him why and he said his relatives told him that he could make a better life in the USA. I did not know how to react. The only thing that helped me was my job. However, I was not earning enough to pay my rent, let alone meet other expenses.

One day I was sitting at my desk at work and a customer came in. We started to talk and I told him about my situation. He told me he would come back for me after work, and he did. He took me to Devon House and we talked for hours, and then he took me home. He told me that he had a woman, but they were having issues.

He started to sleep at my house, and I had to explain to my landlord that my boyfriend was not coming back. He asked me if I got a new boyfriend so soon, then he said it is not his business, he only wants his rent.

This man and I started out well. He has a high sex drive. He cheated on me and I found out after I discovered a condom in his car. He told me the truth, so I forgave him. Now, he is making a big request. He wants me to invite one of my female friends to our bed. He wants to have a threesome. I told him it is better for him to tell me that he wants to leave me than to ask me to invite another woman into our bed. He said he has friends who are doing it and their girlfriends are not making a big issue out of it.

I asked one of my girlfriends if she would do that, but I did not tell her that I wanted her to do it with my boyfriend and me. She said she would do it for any man who would give her $30,000. She then asked me if my boyfriend would give her that money and if I want her to engage in a threesome. I told her no, I was only enquiring. But she came back to me again and asked me.

I cannot understand why my boyfriend is not satisfied with me only. I feel stupid. I have had sex with this man so many different ways. Sometimes he is like a beast in bed. I have shed tears when he put me in different positions, but he would not ease up. I do not know what to do. I cannot afford to leave him. He pays all the bills; the house is never without groceries and my landlord gets his money on time.

He is not a man who cares for fast food, so we cook almost every day. However, his appetite for sex is too much for me, and I do not want another woman in our bed. I believe if we were to do it once, he would want it again and again.

He told me that the girl who is going to come to our bed should be clean and without disease because he will not, on that night or day, use protection.

What do you have to say about his request and about my situation?

A.

Dear A.,

Let me begin by saying to you that I am sorry you're ex-boyfriend lied to you. He knew that he was not returning to Jamaica, so he fooled you and he got full satisfaction from you the night before he flew out of Jamaica. He did not even give the landlord notice that he was leaving. Nevertheless, you should wish him well.

This man with whom you are living is treating you well. He is paying all the bills, but he is not a moral man. He wants you to engage in a threesome and you are not prepared to do so. I rather suspect that if you keep refusing to engage in a threesome, he may tell you that you must either do it or leave. Some of the women who have written to me or have spoken to me on the phone about inviting other women into their beds have regretted doing so. Some of the girls they invited have taken over their men. These wives have turned against the women they invited.

You are young, but you are intelligent enough that you should not agree to your boyfriend's request. May I suggest that you prepare yourself to leave this man if he continues to demand that he wants you to engage in a threesome. Evidently, you cannot pay your rent on your own, so if you are leaving him, you should find a cheaper place to live. You should also find a job that will pay you more. I wish you God's blessing.

Pastor