Twin sister taking my man

Dear Pastor,

I have an identical twin sister. We are in our 30s. We got along very well. We wore each other clothes and shoes. Both of us have children. She has one and I have two. My children's father treats me very well and he takes care of his children. Her child's father is a 'cruff'. He has many girlfriends, and he is a taxi operator. She is always complaining about him, and I have asked her why she is still with him.

Recently, I have found out that my twin sister has taken a liking to my man. It was my mother who told me to be careful, because one day she saw my sister and my children's father kissing and she could not believe it. She spoke to her about it and told her that my sister and I have shared lots of things, but she was very sure that I would not want to share my boyfriend with her. She said to my mother it is my boyfriend who drew her to him and kissed her, but she does not want me to know that. My mother said that she had to tell me because she knows that it was not right, and that I have helped her a lot. My mother also said that I should not tell her that she told me.

I could not deal with it, so I went to where her child's father operates his taxi and I encourage him to take care of my sister. He said that he is trying. I also spoke to my mother and she agreed that she would talk to my boyfriend about what she saw. My boyfriend told her that they have only kissed, but they have never had sex. He also apologised to my mother. He went on to say that my sister is always telling him how much she loves him, and is asking him for money. I love my sister very much, but I will not share my man with her; no way.

V.

Dear V.,

If your twin sister is with a man who is not helping her and not supporting his child, she should either take him to court for maintenance or get herself a proper job. There are some good taxi operators. It is true that some of them have many women and they have to overwork themselves to keep up their lifestyles, because many of the taxi they operate they do not own.

I commend your mother for alerting you on what she became aware of. I believe that you should deal with this matter by approaching your boyfriend. You should let him know that you are aware that your sister and himself have become so close that they were seen sharing a kiss. You should not be afraid to talk to him about it. However, I believe that you should go further; you should ask your sister about it, and all three of you discuss the matter.

Please do not stop assisting your sister. If you are in a position to help her, do so nevertheless, but warn her to keep away from your man. Tell her the truth; if she does not desist from touching your man or getting close to your man, you would not want her to come to your house any more.

Your sister alone should not be blamed; your children's father should not get sexually involved with her at all. He can help her financially, but you should be aware of it.

Tell your mother not to blame herself for telling you because you ought to know what is going on between your man and another woman.

Pastor