Can’t wait to lose my virginity

Dear Pastor,

I am an 18-year-old girl and I have a boyfriend who is 20. He has proposed to me and I have accepted. My mother is Caucasian. My father is a black Jamaican man. My father said I am too young to get married. My mother told me that my father proposed to her when she was 17 and they got married when she had just passed her 18th birthday. Her parents did not object to the marriage.

I was born in Canada and lots of my white friends get married soon after high school. When I get married I would continue to go to school. My father is concerned that I may get pregnant and stop attending school, but that is not my intention. I will still continue my education. My father is a wonderful man. He has been a very good provider and unlike many Jamaican men, he has stayed with my mother. I am very proud of him.

I am a virgin and I am looking forward to my first sexual experience. Some of my friends who are already married say that it is an exciting time. Some have already told me what to do and what not to do. My fiance says things that are crazy. My aunts have already made reservations and paid for the week at the hotel where we would spend our honeymoon. My father said they should have given us the money and allowed us to choose where we want to go.

My boyfriend is not a virgin and he teases me all the time, saying that he is going to 'mash it up'. That makes me a little scared, but I know that he will not do anything to hurt me. I told him that I will make sure that the door to the hotel room is not locked; I will run from him. We have fun talking about our first night together. We don't plan to have children until two years after we are married. My mother says two years is too long; however, we may change our minds.

You are a fun-loving pastor and that is why I can write and say these things to you. I hope to hear from you.

A.J.

Dear A.J.,

An 18-year-old is not too young to get married. In fact, it is not unusual for a 16-year-old to get married in Jamaica, if permission is given by their parents.

An 18-year-old is an adult and should be able to make their own decisions. People not only mature as they get older, but they mature as they gain experience. Your fiance is 20 and he seems to enjoy teasing you. I could understand why your father believes that you should wait and not get married until you are older. However, the Bible says that it is better to be married than to burn with passion.

Some people have got married very young and they have lived happily. I suggest that you make sure that both of you attend premarital counselling before you tie the knot.

Pastor