Aunt is trying to run my life

Dear Pastor,

I am just 18 years old and I have found myself involved with two brothers. I love both of them, but I have only had sex with one of them.

The other one does not know that I had sex with his brother. He is always telling me that he will pick me up from school. He drives for a politician and he has lots of time on his hand. The one I had sex with has a demanding job, but he gives me money all the time. His brother does not give me any money. He is always complaining that things are hard with him. The one I had sex with took me to the jewellery store and bought a lovely pair of earrings for me. When my mother saw them, she asked me where I got them from. I told her one of my friends went to America and bought them for me.

My parents are very poor. I am not living with them; I am staying at my aunt, but she is not nice. She goes through everything I have and questions me about it. She knows the name of my boyfriend. She also knows his number, so she called him, pretending that she was my mother, and asked him what kind of relationship we are having, because she does not want any man to fool her daughter. I told my aunt I was leaving her place to return to my parents' home, although it is very inconvenient there. When my boyfriend realised that the call did not come from my mother, he was very angry. He called her back and called her a poisonous snake. She said she was only trying to protect me; but I am old enough to protect myself.

This man and I are planning to live together. That is one way I know to shake off his brother. I could not imagine myself having sex with two brothers, though I have friends who have done so. I have my own room. My aunt does not have children, but she has taken in other people's children and assisted them. She is a teacher, but she does not know her limits. She read my diary and she saw what I did with my boyfriend and where. I am angry with her.

My boyfriend is 24 years old. He is attending university. He plans to move out of his parents' home when he graduates.

B.J.

Dear B.J.,

You have taken too long to tell this young man that you are in love with his brother, so you cannot be intimate with him.

You should have done so long ago. Plus, you know that he never has any money. This man with whom you had sex is probably working part-time, because he has been able to buy you an expensive pair of earrings and give you money. I am glad that you have not allowed both brothers to take you to bed.

Concerning your aunt - what she did was very wrong. She should not be searching your belongings; and she should not have called your boyfriend and pretended that she was your mother. Shame on her! Some people who give you shelter think that they can take liberty with you. I say shame on her, again. Nevertheless, please don't be in a hurry to move out of her house. The time will come when your boyfriend and you will be in a good position to help each other. Don't move now.

Pastor