Can’t wait to start dating boys

Dear Pastor,

I am 15 and I am living with my parents and grandmother. I am the only child for my parents.

Some of my friends in school know my parents, and they say that I am rich because they take me to and from school. I do not ride the busses. I am attending a traditional high school. I have made very good friends here, and some of my very close schoolmates have spent weekends at our house.

My parents are professionals. They do not believe that parents should spank their children. Although my mother has threatened to beat me, she has never done it. The closest she has got was slapping me twice, but my father told her that was not the way to correct me. My grandmother said my father has totally spoiled me.

I love my parents. My grandmother is a medical doctor, but she has retired. She is enjoying her retirement. Her husband died many years ago leaving her rental properties. She loves my father and he takes very good care of her. I always say that when I grow up, I would like to have a caring husband like my father. My mother says that my father has always been a hard worker and that's one of the things that drew her to him. She said I am too lazy, so no good man will want me. My grandmother has taught me many things, including how to cook. She is a good cook. She likes to cook for the family, and she also likes to bake.

You may wonder why my mother slapped me. She was correcting me over a matter and I talked back t0 her. In a split second, she slapped me twice and told me not to back talk her and told me I should learn to have manners. I was stunned, but I never did it again.

I do not fool around boys, although I am admiring one of them who attends a certain high school. He knows that I like him, but we have never gone out. My parents would not allow me to go. I asked my father what age he will allow me to date a guy and he said 16, but my grades would have to be very high. I am an A student, so the grades will not bother me. But my father also said the guy would have to come from a good family, and he would have to approve where we are going.

I have started to grow breasts and my mother has bought me brassieres. I feel like a grown woman, but she warned me not to think that I am a woman; I am still a girl. I don't like to hear when my mother talks this way. My grandmother would simply say, "Daughter, you really growing up", and we would laugh together.

Is 16 a good age for a girl to be allowed to go on a date? Where would be the best place for my date to take me? What do you say?

O.L.

Dear O.L.,

Your parents are very wise people. The slaps that your mother gave to you, you will always remember.

What she did will remind you that she was in charge of you and was not prepared to accept any 'freshness' from you. Children should not 'backchat' their parents. To do so is to express rudeness.

I am glad that you are doing very well in school. You come from a privileged home; please do not do anything to embarrass your parents. I have been careful not to mention the type of work your parents do. Work hard and make them proud. You also have a very wise grandmother. She has taught you to cook and bake; cherish her counselling.

It is normal for a girl to admire a young man, and vice versa. Your father has set a high standard for you. Don't allow the feelings that you are experiencing for the opposite sex to go to your head; keep it in your heart. When the time comes for you to go on a date, ask your father where is the best place for the young man to take you.

Pastor