I think I am about to experience menopause

Dear Pastor,

I am a 52 and generally experience good health. I have four children. The youngest is still in high school, two have gone through college, and one is there now.

My first two children are boys; then the girls came. I sometimes wish that I had only boys. They have not given me any trouble, but I always had to be on my toes with the girls. My girls behave as if they are big women and they know everything. Sometimes when I talk to them, they say that things have changed and people don't do 'such and such' any more. Both of my girls started to see their period very early, but I had prepared them to expect it, because when I saw my period for the first time I was not prepared. I did not even know what to do. Mine occurred when I was in church, and it was one of the older ladies who took me to the bathroom and assisted me. I cried all the way home. I was very embarrassed. My mother said that was not anything to be embarrassed about. I prepared my daughters to expect their period and I told them what to do.

I am writing to you about a problem I am experiencing. I know you are not a medical doctor, so please don't mention that you are not. I respect you because you are a smart man. I believe that I might be going through menopause. I know that you may tell me to check with my doctor, but even before I go to see her, I want to know if I am thinking right. If I am going through menopause, I would not be in a hurry to see my doctor.

Can you tell me the signs a woman should look out for as she prepares to face menopause?

Y.M.

Dear Y.M.,

You say that you are 52 and I rather suspect that you believe that you might be going through menopause at your age, but I don't know.

Some women go through menopause early; I mean earlier than your age. They know something is happening when they stop seeing their period. At the early stage of menopause, a woman may see her period every other month. The flow may be heavy or light. That may occur for a year or two. Therefore, it would be advisable for a woman to consult her doctor. Some women in your age group look forward to menopause because after that, they cannot become pregnant. Some women have admitted that the thought of not becoming pregnant excites them, and they do not have to be careful about using protection any more when having sexual intercourse.

What women seem not to enjoy is experiencing 'hot flashes'. That is the feeling of heat over their bodies and that can occur any time during the day or night. Sometimes when a woman is experiencing hot flashes, she may be in an audience but she is the only one fanning. So, some people may suspect that she is going through menopause, as while the other women are very comfortable, she is not. Hot flashes can last for about two years.

My understanding is that hot flashes can be treated, so there is a good reason why you should see your doctor. A woman's vagina wall may become thin and dry and sexual intercourse may become painful. That's another reason why you should see your doctor. I think I have said enough to you. I urge you again to see a doctor, preferably a gynaecologist. You would learn much from him or her.

Thank you for the confidence you have in me. Please, let me hear from you again.

Pastor