My wife is the perfect stepmother

Dear Pastor,

I am in my early 40s and my wife is 55. The first time I dated her, I did so only to get the experience of making love with someone who was older than me.

The relationship turned out to be permanent and because she didn't look her age, very few people knew that she was much older than me. She does not have children and she keeps herself well. She goes to the gym twice per week. Because of her, I started to do the same. I had two children before this woman and I got involved. The children's mother loves 'bling' and she was never satisfied with what I gave her. When she realised that I had a woman in my life, she tried to dig out every cent I have. One day she called my girlfriend and told her that the reason we broke up was because I have many women and I am still seeing a couple of them. My girlfriend told her that she was grateful for the call and for the information, but she would have to prove for herself what she was saying. She was trying her best to break us up.

When she couldn't succeed, she told me that I could take the children because she would like to be free, so that she could go out and get a man. I spoke to my girlfriend about it and she told me to call her and tell her that she should pack the children's clothes and we would pick them up. We went for the children and they are now living with us. This woman and I got married, but it was not my intention to marry her when I met her. She proved that she was wife material. She spends time with the children and they can't fool around when it comes to their schoolwork. She shows up for PTA meetings and everything that the schools have that I cannot attend.

She is not in the fast-food business; she cooks every day, and she never stops telling me that she loves me and that I am special. Her father left her mother when she was a teenager and her mother struggled with her and her siblings. She made a vow that she would not get married, because it was a younger woman who broke up her parents' marriage. My children don't even want to visit their mother. She used to question them whenever they visited her. The children used to come back and tell me everything. Well, she said she wanted to be free to get a man, but until now she has not got one. I do not hate her. I give her money occasionally. In fact, I am sorry for her now. She is looking like a woman who is beating the street. I know she is not, but she is not looking as attractive as before. Recently, I had to pay a store what she owed for a refrigerator. So, you see, she is not prospering. I told my wife that I was going to pay off what she owed on her refrigerator, and she agreed.

When I told my babymother that I would inform my wife that I would pay the money that she owed, she was very upset. I had to let my wife know because we have a joint account and that's where I took the money from.

H.G.

Dear H.G.,

Although you became involved with this older woman to gain some experience, the relationship with her worked well.

Your children's mother behaved as if she was a simple woman. She tried to spite you when she told you to take the children. She probably felt that your wife would have objected. But your wife grasped the opportunity to have everybody living together as a family. Your children will grow up to respect her. She has good control over them. She is teaching them that education is the best way forward. Only good parents become active in their children's activities at school. Although this woman doesn't have any biological children, as their stepmother, she has fitted in very well.

Before I go, let me say that your wife is a wise woman; she does not live on fast food. I hope that you will continue to treat her well and be proud of her.

Pastor