My boyfriend insists he’s not ready to get married

Dear Pastor,

I am 26 years old and I am living with a man, but we are not married. We hope to get married very soon.

I know he has been reluctant to make the commitment. He is always saying that many of his friends got married and broke up, and he doesn't want to get married and have to break up with his partner. Whenever he hears that people he knows are not getting along with their wives and husbands he says, "What a pity, and I thought they were doing well."

Sometimes I wonder what can cause people to break up so soon after they are married. I love my boyfriend so much. I have an engagement ring that he bought for me a year ago, but I want to wear the real ring, the one that I can show to my friends that we are married.

Why do people get divorced so soon after they get married? What is the problem? I really want to know.

T.P.

Dear T.P.,

Statistics show that there are a number of things that can cause break-ups and divorce.

At the top of the list is money. Some women fight their men over money, and when a woman is not getting enough money she may cheat. When a woman begins to cheat, she may continue to do so until she dies. Another thing that may cause people to separate and get divorced is sex. Men will go anywhere to find a sexual partner, but please don't misunderstand me; women do the same.

A famous woman left her house and told her husband that she was going out. He thought that she was going somewhere in the country in which they reside. He did not know that she was going to take a plane to another country to visit a lover, but that is exactly what she did. She went to the airport, boarded the plane and left the country. I have a friend whose wife left Georgia and flew to a certain country to be with a man with whom she had a relationship when she was a teenager. They broke up, of course, and then she got married. But the love she had for that man never died. One day she saw him, after being married for many years, and the love rekindled. She left her husband and went to visit that man. But after he had enough of her, he told her she should go back to her husband. He did not give her any money, so her children and her husband had to send money and a ticket for her to return to America.

So, money and sex are at the top of the list why people get divorced. Of course, there are many other things, such as relatives and children. Take care of each other. I beg you, if you have made a commitment to each other, stay with each other; and when things are not going right, seek professional help. I hope your boyfriend will make a commitment to you very soon.

Pastor