Married man got me pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old girl and I have a complaint. Presently, I am pregnant for a married man.

When we started talking, I didn't know he was married. But after I found out I was pregnant and I told him, he said I could do two things; try and find a man to give it to, or throw it away. I told him I didn't have any other man to give it to because he was the one who got me pregnant. He said he knew that I was fooling around with another man, so why do I want to give him the 'belly'? I told him that that other man and I stopped talking when I met him. He has not given me one cent since I told him that I am pregnant.

I called the other fellow who I used to talk to and he told me that he has a girlfriend now. He said he has moved on with his life. I begged him for some money and he came to my gate and gave me $5,000. He said I should not expect anything else from him. I told him I am pregnant; he said he was sorry for me. In these days, a girl can't go and get pregnant just like that, she has to know what she is doing with her life. Sometimes I am so confused, I think of ending my life.

I am living with my grandmother, who gets a little pension, and my uncle helps her out sometimes. My mother left me with her since I was a baby. If I should see my mother now, I wouldn't even know her. I am going to call the wife of this man who got me pregnant and tell her that I am carrying her husband's child. My grandmother is encouraging me to do so.

I go to evening classes. I want to get some more subjects. I want to attend UTech. This man has mashed up my life. Do you think I should call his wife?

Anonymous

Dear Writer,

I am sorry to hear that you are pregnant. It doesn't make any sense for me to rough you up - it has already happened.

But as I read your letter, I said to myself you are not a child, you are 19 years old and you are sexually active. I am sure that you have repeatedly heard that any woman who engages in sexual intercourse is likely to get pregnant if no protection is used. You know that if a woman has unprotected sex and she doesn't get pregnant, then she is fortunate. But if she continues to have sex, she may get caught.

This married man is a wicked brute. If he had a 19-year-old daughter, he would not want a man to get her pregnant. But you see, my dear, men can't get pregnant; they don't have to be worried about anything. Men go to women primarily for pleasure. Anywhere they can have sex with them, they will. Whether it is behind a school, or in the canefield; anywhere a woman is willing to give it to them, they will take it. These are tough days. All women would love to have something beautiful for their Christmas, and if they cannot buy new pants, a new dress or a new pair of shoes, they would love to have food.

This man told you that you should give your 'belly' to another man or have an abortion. That's a cruel man. I hope that you will carry your pregnancy, and that nothing will happen to prevent you from continuing to attend classes. You have an uncle who helps your grandmother; tell him the situation. Beg him for help, beg every relative who would be sympathetic to your situation.

You made a big mistake, but you will bounce back. I wish you well. Let me hear from you in the new year.

Pastor