Try being open to love

Do people still fall in love? As I look around and observe couples as they go about their day, it seems that love is not a part of their relationships. I meet individuals who are single and they say they want a relationship, but when I ask what they are looking for, I hear words like security, loneliness, partnership and settle down. I rarely ever hear the word love. Personally, it feels kind of sad because love should be something that we all aspire to experience at least once in our lives. Plus love is everywhere, at least it's all over entertainment.

Books

I love books. Reading is one of my favorite things to do ever since I was a teenager. When I was in high school, I spent most of my time reading romance novels. I really got caught up in the stories of how strangers fall in love. It always seems so perfect how they meet each other, discover that they have things in common, have amazing sex, and live happily ever after.

Movies

The average romantic comedy will leave the audience believing that love conquers all and that falling in love is so easy. The characters have a chance meeting, make eye contact, go on the perfect date where they realise they have so much in common and laugh together. At some point the happy couple gaze into each other's eyes and shares a passionate kiss while the dramatic music plays in the background. Furthermore, no matter what's going on in the movie, there's always time for a declaration of love and a kiss. A bomb could be going off in 10 seconds, yet the characters still get time to express their love for each other and share an epic kiss just before the explosion.

Music

I am a big music fan. I grew up in the 80's so Babyface, Whitney Houston, Prince and En Vogue were some of my favorite artistes. I also really love Freddie McGregor and he has a whole catalogue of songs with lyrics that both thrill and annoy me at the same time. In his hit, I See It In You, he said: "Cause every little thing that I've been searching for/ Girl I see it in you, you're my dream come true/ Every single day, in every little way/ Every single night I pray, that you'll be there for me/ Cause I'll be there for you."

Seriously, who talks like that in real life?

Based on what we are presented with in entertainment, love seems so ideal, romantic and happy. While in real life, love is accompanied by unexpected bouts of conflicts and compromises that usually leave the couple feeling frustrated and wondering if it's all worth it. Somehow the characters in the movies work it out, and the song lyrics say exactly what you want to hear, but life does not offer such great solutions. So are people falling in love? Or have we just become tolerant of each other to avoid being alone? Are we never going to experience the fleeting happiness of the couple in the movie who are so happy they run around in a field of flowers and kiss like there's no tomorrow? I keep hearing people say that love is about sacrifice and compromise. But is it really? Because when those words are used, it usually means someone is not having their needs met and is that fair? Is it possible to love without sacrifice and constant compromise?

I am a hopeless romantic and I do believe that love is not just real, it can be wonderful, fleeting and all those thing we see in the movies. I also think love is messy, and that cannot be avoided because when it comes to human relationships, there are unexpected variables that require adjustments when they come up. But isn't that what makes it all worth it? So to my single colleagues, be open to love and all the mess it comes with. At the very least you will be happy to have had the experience.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or Tweet me @drsexyann or Facebook www.facebook.com/allaboutthesexy Website: www.drsexyann.com