Mom embraces son’s autism with love and understanding

When 30-year-old Cherene McLeary found out she was pregnant with her son, the first-time mother was filled with bliss as she had been dreaming about having a child for several years.

However, two years after her son Jaer Simpson was born, McLeary noticed that he was not interacting normally. Now, he has been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). McLeary was devastated by his diagnosis.

"I was heartbroken but to be honest, there were signs. I suspected that he was autistic because although he was developing fine, saying words and acting like a normal child, when he hit two, he completely retrogressed, and started to barely speak and he wasn't interested in playing with other kids or toys, only like foreign objects so those things were kinda off for me," explained McLeary.

McLeary, who has been a pre-kindergarten teacher for more than 17 years, recognised that she needed to learn more about the condition, and after gaining a deeper understanding about it, has accepted the reality. Now she sees herself as the proud mother of an autistic child.

"I've been around kids all my life and when Jaer came, I planned everything for him perfectly, and he came in a different way that would have taught me so much," said McLeary. "It's a different journey for me, a total U-turn from what I expected but he's my greatest blessing."

ASD is a developmental condition caused by differences in the brain. Depending on their level on the spectrum, people with autism can have problems to include difficulties with social communication and interacting with others.

Jaer, who is now seven, is non-verbal but considered high functioning; but communication can be difficult.

"He might not be able to have a full conversation but he's very smart. For example, I didn't teach him how to read but, somehow, he learnt to, and he can even read big words that he sees on the TV and in the newspaper," said McLeary. Jaer has also developed ways to communicate what he needs.

"If he wants something, he will tell you so ... he will take your hand and lead you to what he wants or if his head is hurting him, he will take your hand and put it on his head. Some people might miss his cues, but you have to pay close attention to understand his needs," McLeary said.

Fully independent

She said that her son is fully independent and can do the same things as the average seven-year-old.

"He helps me cook, he does everything for himself. He's just brilliant and although it's been a rough journey, I put in the work, even though it takes time, because I have to do the same thing over and over and I feel like I'm going crazy. At the end of the day I feel proud to see he's actually learning," said McLeary.

April is celebrated as Autism Awareness Month, which McLeary told THE STAR is crucial because she believes that not enough is being done to spread awareness.

"I hate when I go out there into society and see how people treat them, it hurt mi! I'm a part of autism groups in Africa, Canada, America, right across the world, because I want to learn and what I've noticed is in my own country, most people don't even know what autism is," she said.

"I wish people would take the time out to understand what it is because people will see them and call them rude, and they don't really understand that what they need is just a little more patience," she added.

McLeary said that Jaer doesn't discriminate against anyone and will even hug the man who cuts their yard.

"Even though some people might see him as dirty, my son doesn't see people's faults, he just sees them for who they are and most autistic children are like that, very loving and very caring. So it's heartbreaking to see how people treat them sometimes," McLeary said.