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My boyfriend wrote down every time we had sex
December 19, 2015
Dear Pastor,
I was at my boyfriend's house, making up the bed and changing sheets when I saw a diary. I decided to have a peek. My boyfriend wrote down every time we had sex, in detail. He wrote what I did and even what I did not do. I was surprised.
I found out that one morning after he dropped me to work, he was on his day off, he took a girl to the house and had sex with her. This girl was only 17. He is 40 and I am 27. Pastor, is this right? I took the diary home and burnt it. He has not said anything to me so I don't know what he is thinking.
I had asked him, before I saw the diary, if he has another girlfriend. He said 'no such thing'. I wrote down the girl's name and her number but haven't called her because I am afraid. I have two children and he helps to support them. Their father does not give me any money. Please tell me what I should do.
W.T
Dear W.T.,
You were wrong to look into his diary but I suppose not many people could resist such a temptation. I want you to know however, that it is not unusual for some people to record how many times they had sex and with whom.
Some people, especially women, have given themselves away by mentioning in their diary when they had sex, where and with whom. They carelessly leave that diary around. Sometimes they forget to hide the diary.
I don't know why a person would want to record such encounters.
There are men who have had sex with two or three thousand or more women and they recorded their encounters. Some men are proud of the number of women with whom they have sex. There are some women who like to boast that they were the ones who took the active role.
You were wrong to examine his diary and out of order to destroy his property. I believe he suspects you saw it but I do not believe that he thinks you have destroyed it. I believe if you were to tell him what you did he may be tempted to beat or leave you. I hope he would not physically abuse you at all. Now that you know what is going on, are you prepared to stay with him?
Pastor
