I don’t think he loves me anymore

Dear Pastor,

This is actually my first time writing to you. I always love reading your column, which I find interesting, and I also take your advice on some things.

I am 20 years old and I have a boyfriend who is 23. We've been together for more than two years now. At first when we met, he was so adorable.

He was actually the type of person who I wanted to spend my life with. I've met both of his parents. They were so nice and made me feel comfortable and welcomed.

I never knew I would even find someone who could actually make me love and trust again based on my past relationships.

When our relationship reached one year and a few months, things didn't feel the same. He used to call me often, but lately, the calls have discontinued.

He hardly has time for me, and whenever we see each other, he brings up arguments which we had over the phone and had long forgot about.

FORGIVING PERSON

Pastor, I am the type of person who will be all calm whenever there's a problem, and I have learned to forgive and let go of things. He has even reached to the point where he accuses me of many things which I am not aware of. He doesn't like when I accuse him of things, therefore, I've stopped doing so.

I am not trying to make things look all bad on his side, but all I've been to him is a loyal, honest, trustworthy soulmate.

I always try my best to be there for him and whatever problem is there, I try my best not to let pride get the best of me, but to bounce back and to work things out and just focus on the future.

Sometimes I wonder if he even knows how much I love him or how much I'm worth to him. He doesn't trust me; he listens and believes whatever anyone says or tells him about me.

I'm at the breaking point with him because I'm here fighting for our relationship. But on the other hand, he doesn't even trust me, which is fundamental to a strong and good relationship.

He is so jealous and insecure and whenever I turn to someone to vent, he curses expletives and tells me, "You tell everybody we business". I can't even talk to him.

Pastor, I am very confused as I await your feedback/advice.

J.W.

Dear J.W

The relationship has gone sour. This man does not trust you and he doesn't have much respect for you, either. He is behaving as your boss.

What both of you should do is to make an appointment to see a family counsellor. You can't handle this mater alone.

If he truly cares about the relationship, he should be willing for both of you to meet with a counsellor. If he does not want to meet with a counsellor, you should walk away from him.

He thinks that he is the only one you can get. If that is the way he really believes, he is naive and foolish.

Pastor