Dad stole my girlfriend

Dear Pastor,

This is the third time I am writing to you. It seems as if you are ignoring my letter but I told myself I will write to you again.

I am a man in my 40s. I am divorced. I went to America and got married over there. I got into trouble and was incarcerated then I got deported. I got married twice in America. My second wife and I could not get along and I got into trouble with her. She did not speak the truth so that landed me in prison and while I was incarcerated, she had another man. My friends who visited me told me that she was 'giving away my stuff'. She never used to bring me anything.

My sister told me that I should take my mind off her and so I did. I came back to Jamaica and had to start all over. I am doing some farming and living in my father's house. I have a woman in my life but she curses me every day. She tells me that I am no good and that people get opportunities to go to America to better themselves and I have come home worse. This woman has two children and she is more interested in my father than in me.

On Saturdays, she makes whatever soup my father wants and she goes to the market and purchases things for him. Unless I give her money she does not buy anything for me. I told her that I am going to leave her with my father and she told me that that is what she wants me to do. Sometimes I am walking in the street as if I am crazy. How could my woman be having an affair with my own father? I know my father would have sex with her. He has his cutlass right by his bed and he warned me that if I don't stop calling his name and telling people that he is with my woman, he will deal with me.

This woman has stopped washing for me but she is still washing my father's clothes. I am planning to leave this house and she says that I can't put her out of here. I used to give her money when I worked on sites but I don't give her money any more because I have to cook my own dinner or buy box food before I go home. We don't sleep together any more; I sleep on the couch. I am such a worried man. The only reason I am still in my father's house is because I don't have to pay rent. He pays the rent. The only argument we have is over this woman. Her two children are here but they are respectful to me.

My mother and father are not together. My mother is living in rural Jamaica. She is a good Christian woman. She was always warning me and telling me that my 'third leg' would get me in trouble and she was right. My father and mother still talk but they are not lovers. He would not admit to anybody that he is having sex with the woman I took to the house.

P.L.

Dear P.L,

I am sorry to know that you have not done well in life. You had the opportunity to go abroad and you got into trouble due to your own carelessness and you were incarcerated for some time and then deported.

This young woman you met in Jamaica came to live with you in your father's house; you have not said why you believe that your father became intimate with this woman. On the other hand, you are old enough to know if there is any 'hanky panky'' that is going on between this woman and your father. This woman has become very close to your dad and she would do anything that he asks her to do. He sends her to the market and he gives her money to buy produce. I wonder when last you gave this woman money to buy stuff from the market? I wonder why your woman would not even prepare a meal for you or to leave some of the soup that she prepares for your dad? Perhaps you have threatened this woman and that is why she has stopped doing anything for you. She does not even wash your clothes.

It seems to me that you need to leave your father's house. The woman has already warned you that you can't put her out. What she is saying to you is that your father would never allow that. So leave in peace before a war is declared in your house, and remember, if a war is declared, blood would shed.

Pastor