Can’t handle my young girlfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am in my late 30s. I got married when I was 23 years old. My marriage has not worked.

Both of us accused each other of infidelity. I can only say that I am not innocent of the charge. But my ex-wife has never admitted that she cheated on me, even though her friends have told me the name of men she went out with.

We decided to go our separate ways after we met with counsellors. I have started to date again. My present girlfriend is hot, and often I wonder whether I am making a mistake. She is only 19 years old. Every weekend she wants two things; money and sex. I live in my own apartment and when some of my friends come by to play dominoes, they tease me by saying that I am robbing the cradle.

She is indeed young, Pastor, but she is an experienced girl. Sometimes she is in bed all day and I have to make breakfast and cook dinner or buy fast food. I was encouraging her to go back to school, but she told me she is not interested in that. She wants me to get a visa for her. I have got myself in a jam. Whenever I leave home and I do not get back at the time I said I was going to be home, she continues to call me. She is never tired of having sex. Do you think this girl is a sex addict?

I have made my mistakes, but I want to change. I cannot settle down with this young woman. But she is too pretty to throw her out on the street. Please give me your advice.

J.M.

Dear J.M.,

Part of your problem is that you are not learning. You have not learnt from your past.

You were married, and your wife and you did not get along. Both of you cheated on each other. You did not take a long time to find another girl and, as you say, this young woman is hot. I understand what you mean. You may think you can keep up with her, but if she is really as hot as you are indicating, she is going to wreck you. She will leave you penniless. She is after your money and sex.

This is not a relationship I can encourage; you are going to have to bring this relationship to an end. It will hurt, but use common sense. You need a woman who is ambitious, and this young woman is not. You need someone with whom you can work and plan for the future, and she is not that type. Sit with her and show her why both of you should go your separate ways. Do so early. I wish you well.

Pastor