Husband says I am not ‘super beautiful’ any more

Dear Pastor,

I am a 47-year-old woman and my husband is 40. I have always loved younger men, so when we met and he told me his age, I told him that his age didn't matter to me.

After going out for one year, we got married. I was not interested in having more children because I have two from a previous relationship. My two little girls love him and he has been a very good father to them. In recent years, I have found pictures of nude women in his briefcase. He doesn't tell me that I am beautiful any more; he used to tell me that very often. When I questioned him about these nude pictures, he told me that he has always loved to look at beautiful women. I asked him if I am no longer beautiful. He said yes, but not as beautiful as these girls, because my body has changed and he sees wrinkles in areas that he does not like. My arms are sagging and I am no longer 'super beautiful'.

I took the pictures out of his briefcase and I tore them up in front him. I told him that he is stupid because these girls will not remain as attractive as they are now. He was very upset when I tore up the photographs. He apologised for having the photos in his briefcase, and he promised that he will not have any more. But it is these girls who gave them to him.

My husband and I made love that night after arguing for a while. But I know that what I saw and heard from him has affected him. What can I do to keep my husband from straying?

G.M.

Dear G.M.,

You are 47 years old and you should know that your body is changing and you will not be as beautiful as when you were a teenager or in your 20s.

Some women look very stunning as they grow older. They exercise every day and they take care of their skin. There are doctors who specialise in the skin. If you are truly worried about your skin, you can check out these doctors. I don't know if they are available in Jamaica, but your family doctor should be able to advise you.

I have said in the past, and I repeat now, the human body is the most beautiful of God's creation. I don't mean that in a bad way. Women scream and carry on when they see a man, a very attractive man. Some even faint. Men wish that they can touch a beautiful woman, but beauty will not last. But every man or woman should try to take care of him or herself every day. So you may want to talk with your family doctor to help you to maintain your beauty.

Keep loving your man and assuring him every day of your love and loyalty to him.

Pastor