Security guard has me hooked

Dear Pastor,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am 30 years old. I have been in a relationship for 12 years with my son's father.

I have tried my best to be faithful to him. He is really helpful in every way. He works and helps me with chores around the house. Friends always tell me that I've got the last good man. I met another man last year February who is a security guard. He's from St Ann. At first he told me that he was single. I told him that it didn't matter because I just wanted us to be friends. But the more we talked, I found myself falling in love with him. Every time we met he gave me hugs and told me how special I was to him. After four months, I gave in to my feelings and waited for him to leave work one night. He rented a room for the night, where he made love to me in ways I have never experienced. I kept on meeting him at these guest houses for a few months. I have been very careless. We never used protection, but we did the necessary tests before we started sleeping together.

I found out that he was engaged to be married with a child on the way early this year, but I didn't care. He's no longer working in my parish and I went to St Ann once to see him. I find myself constantly thinking about him. My son's father found out that I have been unfaithful and decided to forgive me. When he asked me about it, I confessed and told him the truth. It took him some time but he has forgiven me. He's now asking me to marry him but I can't, because my mind is on this security guy. I can't talk to my family members; I think I am going to need counselling to get over this man.

C.H.

Dear C.H.,

I think you are trying to say that although you were with a man for 12 years, after going to bed with the security guard, you felt that he was much better in bed than your child's father. So you decided to leave him.

Although he is no longer working in your parish, you have found ways to go and visit this security guard. You have given up the man that your friends describe as a good man. Even after he discovered that you were unfaithful to him, he forgave you and asked you to marry him. Some guys would not have wanted you after finding out that you have gone to bed with this security guard many times.

Evidently, you are not in love with your child's father any more. The guy from St Ann is sweeter. You should tell your child's father that he is wasting his time, because you are unable to get the security guard of your mind. So do so as early as possible and set yourself free.

This man who is in St Ann may never trust you, because he will always remember that you are a cheater, and that even while you were living with your child's father, you found ways to meet with him. But that is another story. I wish you well.

Pastor