Left my girlfriend for her sister

Dear Pastor,

I am a 30-year-old man and I am having a problem. About eight years ago I had a girlfriend; I really loved her.

She was a church lady and was more interested in getting me into her church. I told her I was not ready to get married. I attended church a few times with her, but it was a very noisy church so I backed away. She had a younger sister who was living in America. One day she told me her sister was coming to Jamaica and she would like the both of us to pick her up from the airport.

I got the time off from work and went with her to the airport. From the time I saw the sister, I fell in love with her. She had such a nice shape. I told my girlfriend that I liked her sister and she laughed. But in my heart, I said I would love to date her. We went out together to eat and I tried to talk to the sister alone, but my girlfriend suspected something.

One day when she was at work and her sister was alone at home, I showed up. Her sister was very happy to see me. I took lunch for her. I told her how much I admired her, and she said nothing could go on between us because I was already dating her sister and she would not do anything to come between us. I told her that I cannot take her sister's religion; she said she is not a part of that church.

To cut a long story short, when she went back to America, I kept calling her and I told her I was going to break up with her sister, and when we do, I would like her to become my girlfriend. She said she did not agree, but I told her that her sister and I never went to bed. That is what got her interested in me. She told her sister what I said and she confirmed that we never went to bed. My girlfriend called me a dog, but I took the cursing. It took six months for me to get this girl to agree to have a relationship with me. But when she did, she admitted that when she saw me, she felt a little love in her heart for me.

This relationship has developed, so I am no longer with her sister; but she hates me. My present girlfriend was living in New Jersey, but she has now moved to Atlanta and she loves it there. We would like to get married. Her mother told her that she should not have got involved with me. This girl and I made love. She is a nurse and she is very smart. I don't feel guilty for what has happened. I know that these two sisters would have to resolve their differences. I am glad I never touched the first sister.

Do you believe that I did anything wrong? I know that I am in love at the moment, and it feels good to be in love. Her mother does not speak to me any more. What should I do?

A.R.

Dear A.R.,

Your letter reminds me of a young man who was my college mate. He is from South America and while we were in school, he fell in love with a girl.

He thought he had found love. She was living at her parents' home, along with a sibling. She invited him to their house and when he went and was introduced to her sibling, he fell in love with her sibling and decided to try and develop an intimate relationship with her. When his girlfriend realised that he was interested in her sister, hell broke out between the sisters. She said it could not happen, and he told me he had to run for his life because the sisters fought over him; so he ended up marrying neither of them. After graduation, he left Jamaica and went back and found a girl from another country and married her.

Sir, you have to understand that it must have been difficult for your girlfriend to accept that both of you were going together and as you saw her sister, you decided that you preferred to have her. I am not going to condemn you or your current girlfriend. I could only wish that everything will go well between the both of you. You have to understand, however, that it will take a long time for the hurt that you have created between these sisters to be healed. Your mother-in-law may never trust you again. I wish both of you well.

Pastor