Fiancé doesn’t know I had a one-night stand

Dear Pastor,

I hope you are doing well. It is a long time I have been planning to write to you, but the time has just come.

I have good news for you. This man I have been living with for five years has finally proposed to me and I have accepted it. You told me a couple of years ago that I should not push him; I should wait on him. Even when I was planning to leave him, I did not get your support, so I stayed. I was sure that he did not have another woman. The children love him, and that is one of the reasons I stayed with him.

I went to America for three weeks and I met a man who helped me to relieve some stress. I knew what I was doing was not right, but I got involved nevertheless. My children's father doesn't know that I slept with another man. But I have dealt with the matter in my heart, and I have asked the Lord to forgive me.

This guy with whom I had a one-night stand is a friend of one of my brothers, and my brother was pushing him on me and telling me to "Forget the worthless man I have in Jamaica because this man would take care of me and through him, I will get a green card". It was not the green card talk why I had sex with this man. It was to relieve my stress.

When the guy realised that I was coming back to Jamaica, he told my brother that the love I have for my man in Jamaica is very strong, but if I should change my mind, he would marry me. I have been back two years now and my children's father has now proposed to me. He has never asked me if I got involved with another man when I was in America. I did not expect him to ask me that because he tells everybody I am a good woman.

I am a good woman, but that Sunday night that I had sex with my brother's friend, Satan got the better of me. It was just sex and it was only once. I don't even love the guy. He bought me a cell phone and I took it to Jamaica and gave it to my children's father. He was so elated. He believes that the phone came from me.

I can hear you saying, "This girl is bad." If this man had got me pregnant, I would have returned to America and married him, because we had sex without protection. I plan to get married to my fiance in August and we would like you to officiate. I will tell you more about it soon.

V.T.

Dear V.T.,

I have to be frank with you. My conscience will not allow me to officiate at your wedding.

If you didn't tell me that you purposely got involved with another man while your children's father is out here in Jamaica believing that all is well, I would have gladly officiated. But you are behaving as if you did not do anything wrong, and you are making a fool of your children's father.

He believes that you are a wonderful woman, but the truth is you are a snake in the grass. I wish you well. I hope you won't be against me because I refuse to officiate at your wedding.

Pastor