Stepdaughter accusing me of watching her

Dear Pastor,

I have a problem. I have been married for 14 years. When I met my wife, she had a young child, so this little girl grew up as my own.

My wife told me that the child's father, after getting her pregnant, went away, so she did not have any contact with him. I had one child before I got married to this woman; she was living with my mother and I. Her mother and I did not get along. So my mother took the child and was raising her. But after I got married, I asked my wife whether she would agree for my daughter to come and live with us and she said yes. My daughter stayed with us, but my wife was not treating her well. She was physically abusing her. Any little mistake, she would beat the girl and told her she was as worthless as her mother. So my mother told me to bring back her granddaughter.

This girl that I raised has never called me daddy. Her mother told me she couldn't force her to call me daddy because I am not her dad. Everything I bought for my daughter, I bought for her too. But a big problem has developed; this girl has complained to her mother that I am looking at her as if I want to have a relationship with her. I asked what does that mean; she said I am looking at her breasts. Instead of her mother standing by me and supporting me, she believes what her daughter told her. But I know that I am not guilty of the accusation. I would never touch this child. I told my wife to send her to live somewhere else and she said if the child has to leave, then she is leaving too.

I do not want to go to prison, because this girl is not respectful to me. I know I have never touched her. This house belongs to my father, so I cannot walk out of here. But I would prefer to break up with my wife than to let her daughter and her bring disgrace on me. My wife seems to forget the things I have done for her. She is earning more than what I earn, so she is riding high.

Pastor, do you agree that she should find a place to put this girl? I thank you for reading my letter.

N.L.

Dear N.L.,

It is unfortunate that your wife did not treat your daughter well. It would have been good for the two girls to grow up and learn to share everything. Your wife had a grand opportunity to train both girls, but instead, according to you, she ill-treated your biological daughter and that caused you to take her back to your mother.

Concerning the accusation that your wife's daughter made about you; that is serious. You could not take that lightly. I have told many mothers that when their daughters complain that their fathers or stepfathers attempt to molest them, they should not ignore the girls. Your wife should have investigated the complaint, because sometimes these accusations are not true. Some girls lie about their fathers, stepfathers and in-laws. Your wife believed her daughter, and you were quite correct in telling her to send the girl somewhere else to live. You could not live in the same house with that young miss. Your wife made it clear to you that if her daughter had to leave, she would leave also.

I would say to you, allow your wife to go also. Do not allow her daughter to remain in the house. She doesn't have any respect for you and from the very start, her mother did not make it clear to her that you are in charge of your home and you should be respected as her father. She should pay you that respect by calling you dad.

You will find another woman; let your wife and stepdaughter go, so that you may live in peace.

Pastor