Is it a sin to stop having children?

Dear Pastor,

I am a married woman and my husband and I have four children. We do not intend to have any more.

In fact, when we got married, our intention was to have three. Then I found myself with a fourth child and we said 'well for sure' we would not have any more. We have three boys and one girl. We love our children but it is causing us a lot of money to support them. I have a steady job. My husband is a builder and sometimes work is slow but he is doing his very best. We are sending our children to good schools and we intend to give them a good education.

I have a sister who is not married but has a good job, and, although she has never had children, she understands my struggles and she often assists me financially. She travels often and she always buys me clothes and shops for the children. She is a no-nonsense type of woman. She used to have a boyfriend and he had a one-night stand with one of her friends and she found out. He admitted what he did and begged her to forgive him but she refused. When I told her that she should forgive him, she said she will not because nothing is wrong with her and, if he really felt thirsty for sex, he knew that he could come to her and she would 'spread' for him. So she broke up with him. But this man is still a very good friend of my husband and I.

It is taking me a while to tell you exactly why I am writing to you. My husband and I are Christians and, although we do not want any more children, we are still wondering whether it is right for us to be 'sterilised'. We know that some people believe that it is wrong for couples to stop themselves from having children, but we have decided to stop. Our problem is which one of us should do the operation. I am willing but I am wondering if my conscience will bother me after. I come from the old school where I was taught that a woman should have out her lot.

Pastor, please give us your advice.

G.L.

Dear G.L.,

You need my opinion, so here we go. You have been blessed with four children and you know that at times it is very tough to maintain them.

You have not said whether you have bought a home as yet and I want to remind you that property is the foundation of wealth. So, if you have not and you continue to have many children, it will be difficult to purchase a home because you have to pay mortgage and save to educate your children. I am sure that you have got my drift. I want to say to you, therefore, your husband should not let you wonder whether you should do the operation to stop from having more children. He should tell you that he will do the vasectomy operation; it is not a difficult operation to do. It will not prevent you from having a good sex life. In fact, it should become more enjoyable because the fear of impregnating you would be removed.

I am sure the doctor would explain more to you. Please discuss the matter with your doctor.

Pastor