Husband is angry that I got a sexy massage

Dear Pastor,

For months I have been telling my husband that I would like to go and have a massage.

He asked me why. I told him that I feel my body stiffening up. He said I should get some oil and he would massage me, loosen up my muscles, and everything would be good again. I did not take him seriously. One day I was at work and I asked a friend if she had ever had a massage; she said yes. I asked her if she could recommend a place. She told me she had an appointment and could make one for me, too. She also told me that I should decide what type of massage I wanted, so I told her how I felt. She asked me whether I wanted a male or a female and I told her preferably a male.

I took a day off from work, and my friend met me at the parlour. She introduced me to the masseur. He was a charming young man. He told me that he could see that I was nervous. I told him that I had never been to such a place, but my body felt like it wanted to loosen up; he laughed. My friend told him that he should take care of me because I am her dear friend. Then he asked her if she wanted to stay with us. She said yes, since it was my first time there. He told me that whatever she told me to do, I should do it. I became more nervous when she told me to remove my blouse and bra. I did everything she told me to do, and she did the same. We both took off our pants.

This man started with her and told me to watch. He started with her face and then he went to other parts of her body. I could see that she was very relaxed. He asked her to help him massage me. I have never been so relaxed in my life. When I was touched in certain areas, it was like I was in ecstasy. What surprised me was when this man asked me if I wanted him to go further, my friend answered for me by saying yes. We were there for more than 90 minutes, but only one payment was done. He said that as a first-time customer, and because my friend brought me, he only charged us for one package. My friend and I split the bill and I told her, "I want more of this."

Now I am in big trouble, because my friend told other girls in the department and my husband found out. Although I told him that I was not in the room alone with the masseur, he said I went there to have sex. Nothing went like that. I was deeply aroused, yes, but I did not have sex, and neither did my friend. I asked her why she had to talk and she told me to stop being afraid of my husband. I am not afraid, but I don't want my marriage to break up. Part of the reason why I went for the massage was because I felt I needed it, and whatever I learnt I would do to my husband.

I don't know how to get him to believe that I did not go to the parlour to have sex with another man. I am begging you, please, to help me save my relationship. How can I convince my husband that nothing went on except the massage?

P.M.

Dear P.M.,

You were wrong in going to a massage parlour without advising your husband. You should have told him when and where you were going.

If your friend was taking you there for the first time, your husband should have known. Your husband knows that many of these places are not authentic; it is said that they are sex parlours. I want you to know that I do not doubt what you are saying, but I also want to tell you that you must not always trust people who claim to be your friends. Your so-called friend and you went to this parlour and you enjoyed the massage, so much so that you tell yourself that you would go back. Your friend told her other friends what happened and the type of experience you had, and it got to your husband.

I hope that he will forgive you for your foolish behaviour, and I hope that you will never go back to that place. Perhaps if you are going, you should ask your husband to go with you if he wants to get such an experience. Maybe my suggestion here is rather stupid, but please, don't go back to that place. I leave it there.

Pastor