My husband is a ‘one-minute’ man

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 and I recently got married to a wonderful man who is 24.

I grew up in the Church. I was living with my mother and grandmother. When I was 15, my mother met an American man and they fell in love and got married. She got a visa and migrated. He promised that he would file for my brother and I, but when my mother found out certain things about him, she did not want to stay with him. He was unemployed, so she wasn't able to send anything for us. Sometimes we hardly had any food.

When I turned 16, I met a 40-year-old man, who took my virginity. I was never out of money. I was attending school and he made sure I went every day. Everywhere he went, he took me with him. He introduced me to his friends as his niece and told me to keep my mouth shut. One day, my grandmother told me that my mother called and said that she could not reach me. My grandmother gave her my number and when she called me, she asked me how things were going and I told her fine. I said I wasn't with my grandmother because I was with my boyfriend. She started to fuss. I told her that had it not been for this man, my brother and I would go to bed hungry. She said that she and her husband had broken up because he is a liar, so she is living with friends and times were hard with her. My boyfriend got another woman to take care of the house, and she treated me well. He told her that I was his niece, so I was free to go anywhere in the house. This man opened a bank account in my name. I took my exams and passed six subjects. Unfortunately, this man became ill and died, but by that time, I had more than $1 million in my account. His insurance took care of his funeral.

I went back to live with my grandmother and started attending church once more. That is where I met my husband. The problem is that every time we have sex, he ejaculates quickly, and I can't understand why. He said he does because he is fully satisfied. Although my late boyfriend was a much older man, he was able to control his ejaculation, so I asked my husband if he does not think that I want to enjoy making love with him. I don't know what to do; all he wants is for me to get pregnant, but that is not even in my mind right now. Although I am married, I cannot get over my deceased boyfriend. My husband knows about my money and is always urging me to use it to buy a car. I am not interested in that. I am hoping to use it to buy a house.

How can I prevent my husband from ejaculating quickly?

L.C.

Dear L.C.,

You are an intelligent woman. Your mother was tricked and she left your brother and you to live with your grandmother, while she went to America to live with the man she thought was genuine. She married a liar and the marriage failed.

Fortunately for you, you met a much older man and both of you fell in love. He taught you how to lie, and evidently, you became good at it. People believed that you were his niece and you kept your mouth shut. He treated you well by sending you to school and you did well. It is unfortunate that he died suddenly. There are still some very good men in the world, and the one you lived with was one of them. He left you with more than $1 million, and although you are now married, you have not wasted that money. You said that your husband wants you to use it to buy a car, but you want to use it as a down payment on a house. I am assuming that you are working, so do not allow your husband to entreat you to put that money in a motor car.

Concerning your sex life, you are not totally enjoying your husband because he ejaculates too fast. He needs to control his ejaculation, and that can be done. Make an appointment with a sex therapist. You and your husband will be taught certain techniques which you can assist him in learning over time. He would know how to control his ejaculation. You can also buy books for both of you to read. There are good authors who have written techniques about controlling a man's ejaculation.

I wish you well; let me hear from you again.

Pastor